Claves fundamentales para comprar una casa por Internet

comprar una casa por Internet

Hoy en día comprar una vivienda no es lo mismo que era antes, y es que la oferta de inmuebles se ha multiplicado y resulta más fácil hacer esta gestión a través de Internet, un medio que cobra cada día más fuerza. La búsqueda de una vivienda por Internet no supone ningún coste al consumidor, que tiene en sus manos la fuente de información que le ayudará a elegir el hogar en el que vivirá y por el que pagará una serie de cuotas durante mucho tiempo.

En el mercado inmobiliario a través de Internet predominan los anuncios de inmuebles y no la venta directa. Esta diferencia en cuanto a otros negocios online se debe a las características del producto, y es que nadie compra una vivienda sin visitarla previamente en persona. De esta forma, los portales inmobiliarios no pueden hacer transacciones ni efectuar cobros con tarjeta, simplemente contactan al comprador con el vendedor.

A continuación queremos mostrarte algunas claves fundamentales para que sepas cómo comprar una casa por Internet, con el que ahorraremos tiempo y dinero tanto en desplazamientos como en llamadas. ¡Presta atención!

 comprar una casa por Internet

Dónde quieres residir.

El primer punto es indispensable, debes decidir dónde quieres adquirir un inmueble. Aunque puedes centrarte en una o varias zonas, no tienes por qué reducir tú búsqueda a una manzana o una calle, pero sí que debes delimitar el área que más te interese. Los motivos pueden ser varios, la cercanía al lugar de trabajo o colegios, o bien porque te interesa algún área comercial donde tener todo a mano.

Búsquedas concretas.

Debes prestar especial atención a las delimitaciones realizadas por los diferentes portales inmobiliarios que hay en la red. No sólo puedes centrar tu búsqueda en la zona geográfica, sino también puedes mirar viviendas según el precio de venta que te puedas permitir o según la superficie, el número de habitaciones, si dispone de garaje o ascensor o incluso si se trata de una vivienda unifamiliar, un bajo o un ático.

Dinero disponible para la venta.

comprar una casa por Internet

Una de las decisiones más importantes a la hora de comprar una vivienda es fijar la cantidad disponible para invertir en un inmueble. Sé realista para que puedes detallar correctamente las ofertas que puedes estudiar.

Coste real de la vivienda.

Es muy importante que tengas en cuenta si el precio de la vivienda que te interesa es razonable. Para ello debes seguir un parámetro como referencia y este es el precio del metro cuadrado de la superficie de esa zona. Una vez que tengas este dato multiplica esta cantidad por los metros cuadrados. De esta manera, sabrás si el precio de la vivienda que te interesa está en sintonía con el mercado actual. Si el precio de la vivienda está en el mínimo que se permite puedes negociar con el vendedor.

Calcula tu hipoteca.

 

Para llevar a cabo esta acción sólo tienes que consultar un simulador de hipotecas que encontrarás en la mayoría de portales inmobiliarios. Por norma general, sólo tienes que meter tus ingresos en una casilla y consultar los años a pagar. Esta es una herramienta bastante útil con la que podemos saber si la mensualidad de la hipoteca no supera el 40% de los ingresos, tal y como recomiendan los expertos.

Alertas en los portales inmobiliarios.

comprar una casa por Internet

Para que puedas estar al tanto de las ofertas que van saliendo día tras día debes darte de alta en el servicio de alertas de algunos de los portales inmobiliarios que aparecen en Internet. Con esta herramienta podrás saber a través de tu correo electrónico los inmuebles que salen a la venta según tus preferencias.

Utiliza el correo electrónico.

Mediante el uso de un correo a través de las diferentes plataformas existentes puedes estar al tanto de las alertas recibidas y solicitar información sobre los inmuebles que te interesen.

Redes sociales.

Las redes sociales son una fuente de información inmobiliaria para los internautas, desde cualquiera de ellas ya puedes saber desde las últimas promociones disponibles en inmuebles hasta los tipos de interés de las distintas hipoteca.

Recursos visuales en la red.

comprar una casa por Internet

Ver a través de internet diferentes inmuebles puede parecen interesante pero acaba cansando tanto a nivel físico como a nivel psicológico. Internet te ofrece una serie de herramientas visuales como son vídeos e imágenes de alta calidad con los que puedes hacerte una idea aproximada de la actual realidad inmobiliaria.

A la hora de emprender la búsqueda de tu vivienda por Internet debes tener en cuenta que los inmuebles pueden ir variando, así como tus preferencias. De tanto en tanto es importante que eches la vista atrás y pienses cuáles son las nuevas predilecciones antes de ponerte a buscar.

Como usuarios de Internet podemos navegar por toda la red en busca de una vivienda con las características adecuadas a nosotros. De esta manera puedes olvidarte ya de las inmobiliarias que cobran incluso por adelantado antes de mostrar las casas. La gran ventaja de Internet es sin duda alguna que el consumidor puede comparar características y precios, y hacerse de esta manera una idea clara de lo que puede encontrar.

Además de dar información al consumidor, otra ventaja importantísima es el ahorro de tiempo. Según lo cálculos de los expertos, se tarda entre 12 y 14 días en conseguir información similar a la de la red. La rapidez está derivada de una manera en la que cada uno de los portales inmobiliarios dedicados a cosechar anuncios de venta son bases de datos a las que podemos acceder con mucha facilidad.

Encontrar la mejor vivienda para ti es algo que posiblemente no logres de un día para otro, sin embargo con una buena búsqueda focalizada puedes conseguir una vivienda acorde a tus necesidades y posibilidades. Esta es quizás la inversión más importante de tu vida, por lo que debes reflexionar antes de dar los pasos necesarios. ¡Mucha suerte!

El mejor crédito para tu vivienda

crédito para tu vivienda

Las entidades bancarias anuncian unas hipotecas que parecen atractivas pero que no son accesibles para cualquier cliente debido a la situación actual del mercado inmobiliario, con diferenciales subiendo, tipos de interés al alza etc. Por este motivo, cuando nos encontramos en la búsqueda de la hipoteca ideal para nosotros, lo hacemos con la esperanza de encontrar la mejor, lo que a menudo nos lleva a sufrir frustraciones y pérdidas de tiempo porque lo que parecía real no es lo que en realidad nos ofrecen porque no podemos cumplir con los requisitos, por nuestras características o bien porque no son que esperábamos.

Si quieres evitar todas estas situaciones es muy importante que conozcas bien cuáles son tus necesidades y tus limitaciones, así como tus armas ante las entidades bancarias para lograr la hipoteca que quieras. A continuación te exponemos una serie de apartados para ayudarte a conseguir el mejor crédito para tu vivienda.

Financiación

 

crédito para tu vivienda

Como es lógico, no es lo mismo que necesitemos el 50% del valor de la hipoteca que el 100% más los gastos de gestiones. En la mayoría de entidades sólo ofrecen el 80% del valor de tasación y el precio de compra. Por lo tanto, si cuentas con algunos ahorros para reducir lo que puedas a la hipoteca, será un punto a tu favor para conseguir el mejor crédito.

Para calcular cuánto puedes solicitar dependerá de tu salario, la duración de la hipoteca, el tipo de interés al que puedas acogerte etc. Por lo general, para poder obtener un crédito hipotecario no puede ser superior al 30 o 40% el pago mensual de lo que ganes, por lo tanto, si pides menos de esa cantidad podrás aspirar a un crédito hipotecario mejor.

Endeudamiento

 

crédito para tu vivienda

Igual que en el apartado anterior, no es lo mismo el 25% de endeudamiento que el 45%. Nuestra capacidad de endeudamiento nos permitirá o no el tener más posibilidades de conseguir la financiación que queramos (préstamo fijo o variable, periodos de carencia, etc.). El banco nos dará un préstamo de este tipo si a la hora de pagar no nos vemos en un aprieto, a menos riesgo menos interés. Si no tienes ningún crédito pendiente hazlo destacar en la entidad bancaria para que puedas acceder a la mejor hipoteca.

Los créditos hipotecarios tienen un plazo de tiempo medio de 20 años, por lo que puedes hacer tu mismo los cálculos partiendo de la base de tu actual situación. Debes valor tu estabilidad familiar, tu posibilidad real para incrementar tus ingresos y qué puedes hacer en caso de surgir algún imprevisto. Convencer a una entidad bancaria de que puedes pagar una hipoteca no es tarea fácil, pero si tus ingresos son estables puede ser que consigas disminuir algunas décimas en el diferencial del tipo de interés, algo que supondría un periodo inferior en la duración del préstamo.

Crédito hipotecario fijo, variable y mixto

crédito para tu vivienda

Para elegir el mejor crédito para tu vivienda debes tener en cuenta dos cosas, una, tu capacidad para asumir las subidas y bajadas del Euribor a lo largo de tu vida y dos, si un plazo fijo es suficiente en el tiempo para cubrir el total del préstamo. Una cuota fija te quita de en medio cualquier incertidumbre acerca de tu hipoteca, lo que es recomendable para personas con ingresos no muy altos.

Por otro lado, las entidades bancarias están ofertando las hipotecas mixtas con las que puedes mantener durante el periodo inicial del préstamo un tipo de interés fijo y el resto de tiempo variable. Analizar bien tu situación actual y decantarte por la hipoteca que mejor se adapta a tus necesidades es en gran manera una forma de encontrar la mejor hipoteca.

Duración del préstamo

En esta cuestión creo que todos sabemos que el menor plazo que te permita tus ingresos es siempre lo mejor. El banco verá con buenos ojos el hecho de que puedas permitirte la elección de una hipoteca a corto plazo (15-20 años), ya que en caso de una situación inesperada o una mala situación siempre se podrá realizar una ampliación de hipoteca. Además, esto sería un claro síntoma de disciplina financiera y fortaleza.

Negociación de comisiones

 

crédito para tu vivienda

Por normal general, las comisiones que se suelen negociar con los bancos son siempre la comisión de apertura y de cancelación. La primera se cobra una vez sola antes de firmar el crédito hipotecario y la segunda la aplicarán cuando se haga una amortización anticipada, si se diera el caso. Negocia todo lo que puedas estas comisiones, ya que de esta manera puedes ahorrarte dinero tanto ahora como de cara al futuro.

Vinculación de seguros

Los bancos la mayoría de veces nos ofrecen una serie de seguros vinculados a nuestro préstamo hipotecario. Si aceptas sus seguros lo más probable es que te rebajen el diferencial, algo de lo más conveniente. Por lo general son el seguro de vida y el seguro de hogar, pero también hoy en día comercializan algunos seguros de protección de pagos e incluso seguros de protección de tipo de interés. Valora las coberturas de cada uno de estos seguros, la contraprestación que recibirás, el coste etc. La vinculación de seguros es una de las mejores armas a la hora de conseguir la mejor hipoteca.

Conseguir la mejor hipoteca para tu vivienda no es tarea fácil, pero si dedicas el tiempo suficiente para tomar la mejor decisión seguro consigues tu propósito. No aceptes la primera hipoteca que te ofrezcan, compara entre varias opciones y lee detenidamente cualquier documento que tengas que firmar. Si por el contrario, tienes muchas dudas y no te sientes seguro, es mejor que te hagas con los servicios de un asesor especializado, eso sí, siempre asegurándote antes que eres tú quien decidirá cómo y cuándo firmar. No pagues los servicios recibidos hasta que firmes el crédito hipotecario y como no, comparando los diferentes asesores si así hubiera sido. Estate muy atento a todos los pasos que das y no te des por convencido hasta que consigas justo lo que estás buscando.

Comprar pisos embargados

Comprar pisos embargados

Todos los bancos poseen un inventario de pisos embargados a consecuencia del impago del anterior propietario, por esta razón las entidades bancarias se ven obligadas a vender ofreciendo grandes descuentos sobre el valor real de la vivienda. Ahora por fin prefieren asumir las pérdidas ocasionadas con la crisis en España, vender las propiedades a precios inimaginables y hacer dinero rápido ahorrando costes. Sin embargo, algunos expertos han asegurado que precisamente es ahora cuando poca gente quiere comprar una vivienda por la desconfianza que sienten en cuanto al mercado inmobiliario, cuando realmente ahora es el mejor momento para comprar un piso.

 Comprar pisos embargados

Aunque la situación ha mejorado en los últimos meses, si te estás planteando una inversión en un inmueble puede que quepa la posibilidad de comprar el piso que deseas a través de las propiedades de pisos embargados del banco. Ahora puedes acceder fácilmente a los listados de cada una de las entidades bancarias, pero cuidado, no todas la viviendas en venta que veas en portales inmobiliarios pertenecen a los bancos, y hay incluso páginas en las que no podrás saber quién es el propietarios hasta después de lograr el contacto.

A veces resulta más beneficioso el utilizar a intermediarios inmobiliarios que nos gestione la compra de un piso embargado. La función del intermediario es ayudar al cliente a gestionar la compra de una vivienda, por lo que estos recibirán consejos acerca de los precio de los inmuebles y de la tramitación de la hipoteca. El uso de un intermediario inmobiliario nos dará seguridad y tranquilidad a la hora de realizar la compra de una vivienda. Además, ningún banco permitirá el cobro de comisiones adicionales, por lo el precio de la vivienda será siempre el mismo.

Financiación y margen de negociación

 

Comprar pisos embargados

Si a la hora de realizar la compra de un inmueble libre no encuentras nada a razón de lo que buscas, puede que lo mejor sea informarte acerca de las viviendas adjudicadas por las cuales podrás obtener cierto margen de negociación y muchas más facilidades a la hora de la realizar una financiación. Hoy en día es mejor empezar primero por esta opción, ya que comprar un piso embargado nos asegura un 30% menos en el importe total de la compra. Además, las entidades bancarias nos aseguran mediante sus anuncios publicitarios, el 100% en la financiación de una vivienda de su propiedad. La mayoría de bancos ofrecen un préstamo con un tipo de interés entre un 0,50% y 0,90% más el Euribor, sin comisión de apertura ni de cancelación cuando de sus pisos se trata.

El simple hecho de ser un inmueble del banco nos facilita la posibilidad de negociar mejores condiciones en la hipoteca. Por este motivo, si estás pensando en comprar un piso embargado debes tener muy en cuenta esto antes de lidiar con las entidades bancarias y formalizar tu préstamo. Uno de los factores más importantes es la zona donde se quiera adquirir la vivienda. En una zona geográfica donde exista una sobreoferta de viviendas, el comprador siempre lo tendrá más fácil para conseguir un buen precio. Si por el contrario, la localidad donde se quiere comprar está muy demandada, lograr un abaratamiento de la vivienda será más difícil.

Comprar pisos de banco en subasta

 

Comprar pisos embargados

La información que tenemos a la hora de comprar un inmueble en subasta es nula, de hecho, a muchas personas ni se les pasa por la cabeza y es que el mercado de subastas no funciona lo que pudiera y quisiéramos que funcionara. Por este motivo, comprar directamente a las entidades bancarias y portales inmobiliarios donde se pueda ver la oferta de los diferentes bancos y pasando por alto que se puede también acceder a las viviendas embargadas.

Si decides comprar un piso en subasta debes tener mucho cuidado de no llevarte un susto más tarde, es necesario que cuentes con el adecuado asesoramiento legal acerca de los procedimientos en el mundo hipotecario. Es por esta razón que resulta menos atractivo la compra de un inmueble en subasta, de hecho, la mayoría de subastas tienen poca afluencia. La ley determina que la entidad bancaria además tendrá derecho a quedarse con el inmueble por el 50% del valor de la subasta o bien por el valor total de la deuda. En la gran mayoría de inmuebles el valor es inferior a la deuda, por lo que el resto del importe lo reclaman al embargado.

Dónde comprar pisos de banco baratos

 

Comprar pisos embargados

Hay varios portales en Internet en los que podrás encontrar pisos de entidades bancarias baratos como pisosembargadosdebancos.com donde puedes encontrar más de 50.000 pisos en los que podrás indagar registrándote en la web o a través de doncomparador.com donde podrás también revisar y comparar cada una de los inmuebles de los bancos. También puedes visitar fotocasa.com e idealistas.com, los portales inmobiliarios con más de 18.000 viviendas de entidades bancarias que están a tu alcance.

La razón por la que puedes encontrar en los bancos precios tan económicos es que muchas personas no pueden pagar la hipoteca y por lo tanto, el juez se ha visto en la obligación de dictar embargo. Como a las entidades bancarias no les sirve de nada los inmuebles embargados, los venden a un precio asequible por el cualquier inversor con ahorros puede acceder fácilmente.

Nuestro consejo es que te informes muy bien antes de tomar una decisión tan importante, y que incluso solicites ayuda a un agente inmobiliario si lo crees conveniente para que te informe sobre todo el procedimiento de compra de una vivienda embargada. Exige leer siempre con antelación la minuta de la compraventa y pide a la entidad bancaria los justificantes que acrediten que la vivienda se encuentra actualmente al corriente de pago. Si no fuera así es mejor que intentes acceder a otra vivienda con la que te asegures que posteriormente no tendrás ningún problema. Teniendo todo claro podrás comprar un piso de un banco sin ningún problema, la única diferencia será el trato directo con una entidad y no con un particular.

Helpful Tips To Follow To Create The Best Truck Wraps

Effective Communication Of BrandWhen you are working with a sign shop to create a complex wrap such as that for a large vehicle such as a truck, you might think it is quite a difficult task. But this is not the case. By understanding a few critical elements, an effective wrap design can be created. The key to success is to design something which is simple and easy to read, and effectively communicates the desired message within a few seconds to all those who see the wrap. In this manner you will be able to get the best more information possible returns out of the investment made.
The first point of getting started on this is to use a good brand image. This encompasses the brand this website identity and logo. If such elements have not been designed yet, you could start work with a skilled Graphic Designer to come up with concepts on how brand recognition can be achieved through the wrap design. This is very important especially in the case of a small business trying to create a brand identity for themselves. It would be best to start with the logo so that all those who see the wrap can identify it with the company and any positive influence created will resonate with the company.
Best Way To Design Truck WrapsIdeally when you are working with a skilled Graphic Designer, you would be advised not to use photos if the brand message can be communicated in any other way. In the instance your brand is already known photos can be used to create the advert but in the case of small businesses, graphics should be focused more on creating a brand identity. This can be further enhanced with a catchy tag line which can also be grasped within a few seconds of a glance.
When you consider work of a good sign shop you will see that the designs often created by them stand out instead of merely fitting. This does not need to be costly or have to involve a lot of different elements. Removing the clutter will actually create a more space for the actually important facts to be displayed and make them more legible even from a distance. Those who find innovative techniques of displaying their wraps are the ones which stand out. The following are a few other elements which will help create an effective wrap design world of tanks blitz hack tool.

* Keep contact details to a minimum such as including only a phone number and web address
* Eliminate fills and noisy backgrounds

Help When Shopping At Furniture Stores

From time to time, homeowners like to buy new furnishings for their home. As styles come and go, they may choose to update their home’s interior by purchasing new couches, love seats, ottomans, beds, dressers, and dining room tables. When they go shopping at furniture stores, some people might be overwhelmed by the number of choices available. In order to buy the best pieces for their house, they may choose to make a list of their needs before they head to the store.

What they decide to purchase often depends on the room they are redecorating. When people want to redo their living room, they most often want to buy large furnishings that will allow the room to look inviting and functional. As such, they may select a new sofa, love seat, recliners, and a coffee table. Rather than buy random pieces, people typically select sets that coordinate together. The set features similar colors and patterns.

This room of the house may also call for new carpeting. These retailers sell area rugs and whole room carpeting in most instances. If that particular room has hardwood floors, people might not want to cover the floor entirely. Rather, they may accent their furnished look with a throw or area rug that matches the sofa, draperies, and other items.

Along with living rooms, dining rooms can be remodeled. Whether or not the dining area will be used as formal room or casual dining click this website area influences what kind of items the homeowners gardenscapes cheats android may choose. Formal rooms often call for longer tables and upholstered chairs. Many people like tables made of dark woods, like mahogany, cherry, or oak. Casual rooms might be furnished with round breakfast tables and matching chairs. These items may be made of lighter woods, including bamboo or wicker.

People have a variety of options when it comes to decorating their bedrooms. Adult bedrooms most often involve being furnished with full, queen, or king sized beds. Some bedroom sets are matched with dressers and nightstands. Some sets even include television sets or game systems as part of the package.

Children’s bedrooms can be decorated more whimsically to reflect the child’s personality and interests. Many children like to have bunk beds, futons, or canopy beds in their bedrooms. Some beds even come in the shape of a car or airplane. Their dressers may be painted any color to match the parents’ decoration scheme.

When people go to retailers to look for pieces, they might want to specify to their sales person for what precisely they are searching. The sales person can ask for details, such as how large a particular area in the house is or what kind of colors they want to include in their remodeling project. With this, they can narrow down their customers’ search and guide them in their buying process.

When people go shopping at furniture stores, they might not be able to articulate what fifa 15 hack online kind of furnishings they need for their homes. However, by visualizing what they want their home to look like when they finish their redecorating project, they may be able to pick out good choices for their houses.

Helpful Style Tips on Silk Scarves For Females

A notable philosopher and politician Aristotle once said, girls are the top creatures of god. And regarding the creatures that are daring, fabulous, thoughtful and intelligent, wrapping and carrying yourself is of utmost importance. According to the varying shape and size or body shape and shades, etc, there are few wrapping and carrying recommendations i.e. silk scarves.

Before jumping into those recommendations to help you be wiser, fabulous and daring surely you prefer to know what is fashion for girls, especially when you might be kind of additional watchful about your image and appearance.

In case you may have acceptable appnana cheats complexion, gold with a blend of copper can make you awesome. In case you are a medium / whitish shaded, desire mix shades of white, beige and bronzy more information golden. In case you may have dark skin, would rather wrap yourself in golden copper shades

Are you currently a plump lady? In case yes, experiment with avoiding sleeveless cuts. Choose dark tone apparel other than brighter shades. Or favor over a selection of flat shades like flat blue or dirty blue. In case you put on small prints and vertical line prints, you might seem slimmer. In case you may have excess weight in you, avoid kota sarees and cotton sarees and adhere to silk scarves.

Plus size girls who will be over 55 have every reason to dress in a stylish manner. Retailers which cater for their demands might not always be conveniently obtainable, that maybe true. Nevertheless this is pointless to bargain. Particularly with the Internet being so widely accessible these days, a variety of outlets are abruptly available to look after an adult full figured lady desires. For example store like Ulla Popken and Junonia have a terrific selection of full figured apparel available that is great for the mature woman’s desires. Expense is affordable and sizes are wide.

Your perspective and level of comfort is extremely important together with your physical appearance and apparel sense. In case you desire to hold a cosmopolitan prospect but do not appear greatly at ease with western wear, try Indo Western design. A blend of Indo Western design might bring an extra attraction to your character. A silk scarf with a squared necked blouse is surely for a shy and introvert girls. Bold and fabulous should select from sleeveless, deep-necked blouses and may be straps.

Thin girls, cheer up, you might seem beautiful out of all tone ranges. All of the shades and shades will suits for you. You also might test sleeveless, deep cuts and strapped shirts.

Ladies are directly associated with fashion. It could be right to state that the word fashion is synonyms to lady. It really is something a lot more than sporting apparel. In case you are an urban beauty, the fashion craze and style must go effectively and that too in advance to you. Some of the aspects that define your fashion declaration are body shape, skin tone, level of comfort and personal perspective.

Choose beige and fawn shades, when you may have a moderate framework. In case of blouses, try on nets since these are of great help in hiding physical defects.

So fabulous ladies, seriously, let’s have a feel according to the body frame, www.colorswitchhacks.club/generator/ skin tone and after all your height of coziness. So regardless of what is your body frame and skin tone or how daring is the identity, fashion with silk scarves is designed for you.

Help for the Partners of Sex Addicts

Frequently Asked Questions
What is sex addiction?
Sex addiction is an obsessive relationship to sexual thoughts, fantasies or activities that an individual continues to engage in despite adverse consequences. These thoughts, fantasies or activities occupy a disproportionate amount of “psychic space”, resulting in an imbalance in the person’s overall functioning in important areas of life, such as work and marriage. Distress, shame and guilt about the behaviors erode the addict’s already weak self-esteem.
Sexual addiction can be conceptualized as an intimacy disorder manifested as a compulsive cycle of preoccupation, ritualization, sexual behavior, and despair.
Central to the disorder is the inability of the individual to adequately bond and attach in intimate relationships. The syndrome is rooted in early attachment failure with primary caregivers. It is a maladaptive a way to compensate for this early attachment failure. Addiction is a symbolic enactment of deeply entrenched unconscious dysfunctional relationships with self and others.
While the definition of sex addiction is the same as that of other addictions, sexual compulsion is set apart from other addictions in that sex involves our innermost unconscious wishes, needs, fantasies, fears and conflicts.
Like other addictions, it is relapse prone.
While there currently is no diagnosis of sex addiction in the DSM-IV, clinicians in the sex addiction field have developed general criteria for diagnosing sex addiction. If an individual meets three or more of these criteria, he/she could be considered a sex addict:
1. Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses in order to engage in compulsive sexual behaviors.
2. Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent, or over a longer period of time than intended.
3. Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop or control those behaviors.
4. Preoccupation with sexual behavior or preparatory activities. (rituals)
5. Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations.
6. Continuation of the behavior despite recurrent social, financial, psychological, or marital problems that is caused by the behavior.
7. Giving up or limiting social, occupational or recreational activities due to the behavior.
8. Distress, anxiety, restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior.
How do I know if my partner is a sex addict?
Sometimes, it’s difficult to know whether someone close to you has an addiction. The addict might hide the addictive behavior or you might not know the warning signs or symptoms. Here are some of the signs and symptoms:
* Staying up late to watch television or surf the Web
Looking at pornographic material such as magazines, books, videos and clothing catalogs
Frequently isolating themselves from spouses or partners, and doesn’t inform them of their whereabouts
Are controlling during sexual activity or have frequent mood swings before or after sex
Are demanding about sex, especially regarding time and place
Gets angry if someone shows concern about a problem with pornography
Offers no appropriate communication during sex
Lacks intimacy before, during and after sex, and offers little or no genuine intimacy in the relationship
Does not want to socialize with others, especially peers who might intimidate them
Fails to account for increasing number of toll – 800 or 900 – calls
Frequently rents pornographic videotapes
Seems to be preoccupied in public with everything around them
Has tried to switch to other forms of pornography to show a lack of dependency on one kind; concoct rules to cut down but doesn’t adhere to them
Feels depressed
Is increasingly dishonest
Hides pornography at work or home
Lacks close friends of the same sex
Frequently uses sexual humor
Always has a good reason for looking at pornography (Psych Central.com).
Why can’t he control his sexual behavior?
It’s important for you to know that your partner is not volitionally involved in these behaviors so you can begin to understand and, perhaps, forgive. Most addicts would stop if they could.
It’s been said that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to manage. This syndrome is a complex mixture of biological, psychological, cultural, and family-of-origin issues, the combination of which creates impulses and urges that are virtually impossible to resist. Despite the fact that acting them out produces considerable long-term negative consequences, the addict simply cannot resist his impulses. Individuals who are highly disciplined, accomplished and able to direct the force of their will in other areas of life fall prey to sexual compulsion. More importantly, people who love and cherish their partners can still be enslaved by these irresistible urges.
From a biological standpoint, research has shown that certain formations in the right temporal lobe make certain individuals more prone to sexual arousability from birth. Whether or not such an individual becomes sexually compulsive or perverse then depends on the child’s home environment.
Research has also shown that the inability to control sexual impulses is associated with neurochemical imbalances in the norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine systems. The use of certain anti-depressants (SSRI’s) has thus shown to be very effective in treating the impulse control problems of many sexual compulsives. Biological predisposition contributes and combines with psychological factors. One of the reasons the “erotic haze” is so compulsory is that it unconsciously repairs earlier disturbed, anxiety-laden relationships. It shores up an inadequate sense of self that results from these early-life interpersonal abandonments, intrusions and misattunements.
This combination of biological and psychological factors results in an “affective disorder” in the sex addict. Feeling of depression, anxiety, boredom and emptiness are quickly alleviated by immersing oneself in an imaginary world that provides novelty, excitement, mystery and intense pleasure. Sex addiction is better than Prosac. It heals, it sooths, it contains, it provides a “safe place” free from the demands of actual performance, and it gives an illusory sense of belonging. The sense of empowerment in the illicit sex act rectifies “holes in the soul” and lifts the addict from feelings of inadequacy, insufficiency, depression and emptiness into a state of instant euphoria.
Relinguishing this very special (but delusional) mental and physical state can result in a sense of withdrawal which may include mood swings, inability to concentrate and irritability. These symptoms usually disappear in therapy as the sense of self is solidified and he finds more creative ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings.
* What are the effects of sex addiction on the partner?
Effects of sex addiction on the sex addict’s partner can be numerous, encompassing a wide range of emotions and reactive behaviors. The sexual codependent’s experience is similar to, but not thoroughly identical to, a codependent person in a relationship with a substance abuser. A codependent partner of a drug addict or alcohol, for example, may manage to understand and even sympathize with her partner’s alcohol problem due to appnana hack tool the lesser society condemnation.
But a compulsive addiction that involves engaging in sexual activities outside of the home inflicts a psychic injury of ultimate betrayal. How much harder it is for the
partner to be understanding, to extend compassion towards the person who has been sexually unfaithful to her. People don’t talk about sex addiction – the social stigma is considerable. Forgiveness can seem impossible. She feels as if her trust in him has been irreparably corrupted.
Furthermore, there is an element of intense shame for both addict and sexual codependent attached to sexual addiction, especially if his sexual interests involve an object, cross-dressing, dominance and submission or children.
So the partner is often stunned, confused, and in extreme pain upon discovery of the sexual addiction. Anger and resentment can be overwhelming. For many partners, the sex addict’s betrayal can precipitate trauma that resembles
post traumatic stress disorder. It’s important to understand that a particular dynamic is present in the sex addict/
sexual codependent relationship. Both members of the couple store internalized beliefs about themselves that converge in unhealthy ways. For example, the partner often
has a battered sense of self-worth. It’s likely she grew up in a family environment without affection or positive affirmations. Thus, she has “learned” that she’s lacking in some way, and not worthy of respect. In other words, she “deserves” to be mistreated and undervalued.
She can believe that sex is the most important way to express love, so her partner’s sexual acting out can leave her feeling deeply inadequate, unlovable and frightened of abandonment.
At the same time, the sex addict’s upbringing is similar in that he has been “taught” that tells him that he can never really measure up to other people or be good enough. His unconscious belief system that includes the belief that sex is his most important need. Their life together as a couple, even before the sex addiction is exposed, is frequently characterized by chaos and dysfunction.
Within the union, the partner’s low self-esteem can contribute to anxiety
and fear of being abandoned. Often she will set aside her moral values and tolerate engaging in sexual behaviors with her partner that are unacceptable to her. She feels too unworthy to have solid sexual boundaries. Some partners will consent to participate in sex acts that are repugnant to them, mistakenly believing it will make the sex addict stop acting out.
A surprisingly common effect reported by many partners – after the shock of discovery – is the feeling of losing one’s mind. Obsessing about the details of the sex addict’s
betrayal, repeatedly confronting her partner with “evidence” of infidelity and being told she’s “crazy” or “just jealous” results in a loss of focus and an inability to concentrate. Fear and anger aggravates this condition. She isolates herself from friends, family and community due to her shame.
This is fertile ground for depression. In some situations, the partner is brought to a point of absolute despair.
Some maladaptive strategic responses the codependent may engage in as a means of coping include excessive alcohol consumption, food binges, excessive house cleaning, and overtime career activity, acts that can serve as distractions from her distrust, pain and hostility. Distractions, of course, provide only a temporary and false “relief” and often create more problems than they solve.
When the partner’s anger and resentment are suppressed over a period of time, they will eventually explode in a volcano of rage, blame, and furious criticism of the sex addict.
The explosion of frustrated emotions can open a door to enormous guilt and remorse, so the partner may forgive the addict’s offense.
When this happens, the result is an unfortunate snare for the couple, in which the partner unwittingly enables the sex addict to carry on with his unacceptable pattern of sexual acting out.
The converse is true regarding the emotional influences on the partner. The partner may at times turn inward, withdraw, stay silent and distant. This can include withdrawing from any sexual activity with the addict. These stonewalling behaviors can ignite strong feelings of shame and rejection in the sex addict. In a way, the partner succeeds in punishing the sex addict through these behaviors. But the price of this punishment may be a return to his active addiction as a way to deal with conflict in the home.
A tremendously debilitating effect on the partner is to assume all responsibility for the
addict’s sexual acting out, and even for all of the problems in their relationship. The
sex addict may exploit this to his advantage, creating self-doubt within the partner.
For example, the partner may confront her spouse with evidence of a transgression, like a credit card charge to a hotel, but the sex addict is skillful and experienced in deception. He will boldly challenge the partner’s credibility, suggesting she see a “shrink” for being so paranoid and suspicious of him. He can persuasively feign righteous
indignation, causing the partner to distrust her own instincts and perceptions, even in the face of tangible evidence.
Self doubt can plague the partner, aggravating her confusion, making her doubt her own perceptions, and contributing to the feeling of “losing my mind”, which leads her to retreat into denial, the basic and most fundamental defense mechanism for both partner and addict. When in denial, she will believe the addict’s lies, however far-fetched they may be. She will accept whatever lies the sex addict offers to cover up his addiction, to “not rock the boat” and to assuage her abandonment fears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What are the characteristics of a sexual codependent?
Firstly, let’s consider what codependency is. Codependency is an overworked and overused word and definitions can be confusing. At core, it revolves around the fear of losing the approval and presence of others due to early developmental issues with early caretakers. This underlying fear can result in manipulative behaviors that overfocus on maintaining another person’s presence and approval. Control, obsequiousness, anger, caretaking, and being over-responsible are among the behaviors that can be the manifestations of codependent behavior. Because of dysfunctional family-of-origin issues, codependents learn to react rather than respond to others, take responsibility for others, worry about others, and depend on others to make them feel useful or alive.
Codependence also refers to the way events from childhood unconsciously produces attitudes and behaviors that propel people into destructive relationships in the present. The self worth of the codependent comes from external sources. They need other people to give them feelings of self-worth. Codependence is a particular relationship with one’s self in which the person doesn’t trust his or her own experiences. Lacking the inner boundaries necessary to be aware of and express their true wants, feeling, goals and opinions, they are “externally referenced”. They constantly seek affirmation and validation from other people because they are unable to endorse and validate from within. “Internally referenced” people are able to do this. They often focus on an addict’s sobriety as a way to achieve a precarious sense of self consolidation. Sadly, the way they behave often perpetuates the loved one’s addiction.
Codependent people believe they can’t survive without their partners and do anything they can do to stay in the relationships, however painful. The fear of losing their partners and being abandoned overpowers any other feelings. The thought of addressing the partner’s addiction can be terrifying because they don’t want to “rock the boat” and often are frightened of igniting the partner’s anger.
Codependents show common characteristics:
* spending a great deal best fiends hack tool of time focusing on the addict, sometimes to the neglect of themselves and their children;
* tolerating behaviors in the relationship that others would never tolerate;
* sacrificing with the unrecognized/unexpressed expectation that it would create loyalty;
* doing things for others that you should be doing for yourself while mired in self-neglect;
* becoming someone you don’t like – a nag, a parent to your partners, a blamer, a rager;
* setting rules, boundaries and ultimatums but not abiding by them;
* rescuing others compulsively;
* believing tall tales – giving the addict the benefit of the doubt when it’s not warranted;
* becoming disabled by the addict’s crazy-making behavior;
* being overly concerned with the opinions of others – compulsively trying to “keep up appearances”;
* attempting to keep the peace in the relationship at all costs;
* becoming accustomed to living with a high degree of intensity, drama and chaos
* forgiving – over and over and over again
Sexual co-dependents are similar to the above, but differ in significant ways. Involved with a sex addict, she demonstrates a common set of characteristics. These include: denial, preoccupation, enabling, rescuing, taking excessive responsibility, emotional turmoil, efforts to control, compromise of self, anger and problems with her sexuality.
The partners of sex addicts experiences a traumatic loss of self as they make sexual compromises in the relationship that may go against their moral values. Driven by the loss of her sexual identity, many women try to compete with her partner’s fantasized or real encounters by getting plastic surgery, going on crash diets, having affairs to affirm her desirability, or getting breast implantations. These behaviors are based in the mistaken notion that her partner acts out sexually due to some essential deficiency in herself, which is not true.
Other women engage in sexual activities with their partners that they may find distasteful or even morally repugnant – all in an effort to keep him home and happy, and to stave off fears of abandonment. However, for the addict, this type of sex makes his partner into another object. It was just another fix for him, which makes the betrayal even more painful.
In couples where one partner is sexually acting out and cyphening off his erotic energies from the primary relationship, there may be problems with the couple’s own sexual expressiveness and sex can easily dry up, leaving the co-addict feeling even more diminished as a woman and as a person.
Partners of sex addicts have an inordinate need to get the information straight. “Detectiving” is a common activity: checking his computer, looking up names and numbers, desperately looking for scraps of paper with numbers written on them. One woman even invited a prostitute her partner had been with into her home because she wanted to know the details. The need-to-know provides the partner with a way to check up on her own reality (Am I crazy or is this really happening?) and provides her with a sense of much-needed (although illusory) sense of mastery over an out-of-control situation. Especially in light of the addict’s continual denial, the co-addict has a need to provide “evidence” to ensure her soundness of mind — a ploy that rarely works and is exceedingly exhausting.
Finally, sex as an addiction is rarely discussed and there is a huge social stamina associated with it, resulting in the co-addict wanting to hide or to provide a good “front” to deal with feelings of shame and despair. She may become socially isolated because she can’t discuss the situation with friends. Depression easily enters into an emotional environment of isolation and shame.
* What’s involved in therapy for someone who is the partner of a sex addict?
There is hope. The pain you are experiencing is normal. Learning your partner is a sex addict is devastating and can be debilitating. The betrayal triggers a myriad of strong emotions. Feelings of anguish, despair, rage, hopelessness and shame my overtake you. You may feel alone in unchartered territory, wondering “Where do I go from here?”
It’s important to know that your situation is not unique. There are many, many people who share your exact dilemma. Sexual codependents who attend either “S-Anon” or “COSA”, (see the “Resources page”) 12-step programs for partners of sex addicts, often feel extraordinary relief. To break the shame and isolation, it’s important to know others are going through the exact thing you are. Some members have been grabbling with these issues for years and can be a beacon of hope for the newcomer who begins to discover how to cope with the situation and attain some measure of serenity, whether the sex addict is acting out or not.
Psychotherapy is also extremely important. Be sure to find a therapist conversant with these issues. What should happen in your therapy?
Stephanie Carnes, in her book “Mending a Wounded Heart” cites six stages of healing for the sexual codependent.
The Developing/Pre Discovery Stage.
Characteristics of this Stage include:
believing tall tales
tolerating and normalizing unacceptable behavior from the addict
self-doubt such as second guess, not trusting your gut feelings
having a hunch that something isn’t right
unmanageabililty
loss of values, morals, or beliefs deemed important to you in an effort to keep the peace.
The Crisis/Decision Stage
Characteristics of this stage include:
a catalytic event occurs: you discover or are disclosed to about the details of your partner’s sexual behavior
information gathering
taking action/making decisions, such as sending the sex addict to therapy, seeking therapy yourself, or joining a 12-step program such as S-Anon or COSA
The Shock Stage
Characteristics of this Stage include:
emotional numbness or avoidance
feeling victimized
suspiciousness
terror about future relapse
distrust
feelings of despair
anger, hostility, self-righteousness, blame and criticism
Grief and Ambivalence
Characteristics of this stage include:
grieving losses
feelings of depression
ambivalence about the relationship
increased introspection and focus of the self
less focus on the addict’s behavior and more on your own
Repair
Characteristic of this stage include:
introspection
decision-making regarding the relationship
deeper insight into yourself
family-of-origin themes examined and integrated
increased strength, clarity and coping skills
ability to set boundaries
emotional stability
Growth
Characteristics of this stage include:
decreased feelings of being victimized
focus on issues not related to his addiction
communication skills and conflict resolution skills developed
awareness of your role in the dysfunction of the relationship
acknowledgement of gifts the addiction has brought to your life
ability to be fully present and focused on other areas of life
Treatment for sexual codependence can become a process of continued growth, self-realization and self-transformation. Working through feelings of victimization can lead to a new sense of resiliency. Going through this process and dealing with the suffering you’ve endured can be an avenue to discovering meaning and to building stronger self-esteem from having gone through the process and survived. The challenges you’ve faced can elevate you to a higher level of well-being. You may develop a sense of serenity and peace from the appreciation of having worked through this process.
You will be able to do things that you weren’t taught in your family-of-origin: appropriately esteem yourself, set functional boundaries, be aware of and acknowledge your personal reality without fear, take better care of your adult needs and wants while allowing other adults to take care of theirs.
Your internal and external boundaries will be strengthened. Strong external boundaries will ensure that you will not again put yourself into a victim role. A sense of having internal boundaries will open up new avenues of healthy intimacy as you will know who you are and be able to hear who another is. At the heart of healthy intimacy is the ability to share your real self with another and be available when someone else shares his real self with you.
You will no longer have to bend yourself into a pretzel to be someone somebody else wants you to be. Rejection or disapproval may be unpleasant, but not devastating – and you’ll stop marring your personal integrity in order to get external approval and validation. With increased self-knowledge, you’ll be more able to rely exclusively on yourself and your own healthy behaviors as the source of your self esteem.
You may choose to leave the relationship or not, with the knowledge that you can craft a fulfilling life for yourself whether alone or in a partnership. Should you decide to stay, you can reclaim a sense of dignity and renewed sense of purpose even if your spouse is still active.
Finally, time and energy spent on preoccupation and control of the addict can be used to attend to and emotionally support your children, to recommit to and obtain increased satisfaction from your work, to meet new people and to develop new recreational activities.
How can I possibly forgive him?
Despite the fact that it may seem impossible, forgiveness is a critical part of recovery for the partner of a sex addict. To forgive is not to forget. Forgiving means being able to remember the past without experiencing the pain all over again. It is remembering but attaching different feelings about the events, and a willingness to allow the pain to have decreased relevance over time. Understanding the pain, compulsion and despair that your partner has gone through in his addiction can help open you up to compassion.
To forgive is important primarily for yourself, not for the person you forgive. The opposite of forgiveness is resentment. When we resent we experience the pain and anger all over again. Serenity and resentment cannot coexist.
The process of forgiveness begins with acknowledging that a wrong has been done to you. You have to recognize that you have strong feelings about what happened and you need to feel and process those feelings. You are entitled to be angry or hurt. Ideally, you can share those feelings with the person who has hurt you in couples counseling. If that is not possible, then you can share the feelings with your therapist or support group. After that, you can choose whether to stay in a relationship with that person. In either case, forgiveness does not imply permission to continue hurtful behaviors. As part of your own treatment, you need to decide which behaviors you can accept in your relationships and which you cannot.
The primary goal of forgiveness is to heal yourself. In a partnership affected by sexual addiction, forgiveness is aided by evidence of each partner’s changed behavior and commitment to treatment. These are also elements in rebuilding trust. For many couples, forgiving and learning to trust again go hand in hand. Both take time, making amends, continued treatment and trustworthy behavior.
After the acting out has stopped, it’s critical to not use his past behavior as a “hook” to punish or manipulate him. When a desire for revenge exists, you have not forgiven, and you see him in one dimension (“Bastard”). The capacity to see him as a whole person (he’s not just a sex addict, he’s many things) will help you move forward. Couples therapy will help you move toward a sense of tolerance of his vulnerabilities, acceptance of the past and a renewed interest in him as a multidimensional person with on-going issues.
* Despite repeated broken promises to change his sexual behaviors, I’ve been unable to leave him. Why do I stay in a relationship that causes me such emotional anguish?
There may be realistic reasons why women stay in relationships despite repeated betrayals and lost of trust, mutual fifa 15 hack online concern and physical compatibility. Children and finances have traditionally been two of them, although these days even these reasons are not as relevant.
So, why do they stay? For some women, being in love is tantamount to being in pain. The two are indistinguishable. Obsessing about a man’s behavior, allowing it to control her emotions and behavior, realizing that it negatively influences her health and well-being, she finds herself unable to let go. Does she measure the degree of her love by the depth of her torment?
Problems from childhood rear their ugly heads when contemplating why some women masochistically stay in relationships that they find erosive to their sense of security and self-worth. The one characteristic of all dysfunctional families is the inability to talk about feelings and problems. In dysfunctional families, emotions are repressed, major aspects of reality are denied, and roles remain rigid. Children from such families learn not to believe in their own perceptions nor are they able to validate their own feelings. When your family denies your reality, it’s difficult to trust your own perceptions.
What comes to mind is a “Joey Bishop” episode from the 50’s wherein his wife walks in on him in bed with “a blonde” and Joey and his cohort calmly get up and dressed, the woman walks out the door, and Joey denies that there ever was a woman in the room. The (typically 50’s) wife responds by not believing her own perception!
These women become unable to discern when someone or something is not good for them. Situations and people that others would avoid as dangerous, uncomfortable, or unwholesome do not repel them because they have no way of evaluating them in a self-protective manner. They do not trust their feelings and are unable to be guided by their feelings or instincts. Instead, they are drawn to the dangers, intrigues, dramas and chaos that come from living with an addict.
If she comes from emotionally unavailable parents, she was never able to change her parent(s) into the warm, loving caretaker(s) she longed for. Subsequently, she unconsciously is drawn to an unstable, unavailable man with whom she can try to change into a loving, stable man who can give her what she lacked as a child. The ruse rarely works, and these women live in the ever-perpetuating pain and suffering that they lived in as children.
Because her emotional needs were not met in childhood, she is terrified of experiencing the kind of emotional neglect and abandonment she felt back then, and she will do almost anything to prevent a relationship from dissolving. Accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships, she is willing to wait, hope, try harder, give more chances to a partner that has betrayed her many times over. She may try harder to please him sexually, believing that it is her own deficiency that caused his sex addiction in the first place.
In her relationship, she is much more in touch with her dream of how it could be rather than with dealing with the reality of what is. She may be addicted to men and to emotional pain. By becoming enmeshed in a situation that is chaotic, uncertain and emotionally painful, she can avoid focusing on her responsibility to herself, as her family of origin did not provide a role model for guiltless self-care. Alternatively, the highs and drama of life with a sex addict may forestall the experience of deep-seated depression. She may have never been attracted to men who were kind, stable, faithful and reliable. Such men may have been experienced as “boring”.
* I’m incredibly frustrated that he won’t tell the truth. Even when I present “evidence”, he denies his sexual acting out. How can I ever trust a man who so blatantly lies to me?
Sex addiction thrives in secrecy. Addicts will go to any length to protect their double life. Denial, (“Don’t Even Know I’m Lying”) plays a huge part in any addiction process. The reality of the acting out is protected from the conscious mind. If the addict is unaware of the truth, how can he tell you? The very thinking process of the addict becomes impaired as he becomes immersed in the denial process, giving way to the minimization of the extent of his behavior. This connects with “rationalization”: i.e. “I’m not really cheating” – “All guys do this” – “I’m not hurting anyone” – “I work hard so I deserve some pleasure.” This combination of denial, minimization and rationalization makes it extremely difficult for him to know the truth.
More complexing, is the phenomenon of “dissociation”, or “The Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. Dissociation is a clinical process that characterizes multiple personality disorder. While I’m not saying the sex addicts have MPD, I am suggesting that some of the same characteristics of that disorder are shared. One side of the personality protects the other side from the truth. Some level of dissociation is in every man who has a “double life”. Each side of the personality has different values, goals, beliefs and needs that conflict with the other.
This is why, when the sexual acting out is finished, the addict feels so distressed and shameful. Mr. Hyde does the acting out and Dr. Jeckell experiences the remorse.
When the addict is acting out, he has feelings of being disconnected from himself and his environment. Clients speak of “the bubble”, the “erotic haze”, “zoning out”, “feeling apart from myself and watching myself from afar”, of feeling “foggy “or “not feeling like a real person”. Losing track of time is common as is feeling outside oneself as both an observer and a participant. Emotions are numbed; the fantasy creates an alternate reality which obscures the truth of “what is”.
Once in therapy, a primary issue that arises is a feeling of a fragmented sense of self or being unsure of his identity. Therapy will help him get to the bottom of hidden parts of himself that he may not have fully understood or been able to control until treatment starts to work. Only by getting in touch with hidden parts of himself will the full realization of his talents be realized and fulfillment in his personal relationships can begin to unfold.
For more information about treatment and community resources, contact
Dorothy Hayden LCSW
Center for Healthy Sexuality

* I don’t see how our relationship can survive the emotional pain and chaos of his sexual addiction. Have other couples been able to work through these issues? How have they done it?
((((When at least one member of a couple is sexually addicted, restoring trust and building intimacy can be very difficult. These couples must work as hard on their recovery together as a couple as they do on their individual recoveries.
One of the great challenges to recovery from sexual compulsivity is restoring or building an intimate relationship with a committed partner. Many existing relationships are seriously impaired and often don’t survive because of sexual acting out. The partner of the sex addict’s ability to trust is obviously damaged. The psychodynamic and behavioral issues underlying sexual addiction contribute to obstacles to overcoming and building intimate and committed relationships.
The good news is that we have seen from our experience that not only is it possible to repair, rebuild, or newly build a committed relationship, but the level of emotional and physical intimacy that comes from working on these issues together is sustaining, gratifying and growth-producing for each member of the couple.
What is effective in the process of healing and building?
To fix a marriage that has been damaged by sexual addiction, the first step
is to discover what’s been broken. The process of repair is a journey that both
partners must choose to undertake together, as well as separately. Self inventory is
an inescapable feature of the process. Studies of couples who have achieved success
have shown their willingness to ask themselves certain questions:
How committed am I to this relationship?
Do I want to find out what a healthy sexual partnership is?
Am I willing to take the risk of being truly vulnerable to my partner?
Can I face my own interior issues to develop my own personal growth?
A faithful, honest, monogamous sexual relationship with my partner – is
this what I really want? Is this my goal?
A strong commitment to the marriage and a desire to learn and experience a healthy
sexual relationship with the spouse are essential for recovery. For clarity, two definitions
are helpful. The sex addict is the partner who has been engaging in compulsive
extramarital activities. The sexual coaddict is the sex addict’s partner, sometimes
identified as a relationship addict.
Next, the major “breaks” in the damaged marriage need to be identified. The first and
greatest casualty is invariably lost trust. The coaddict has feelings of anger as a
result of being betrayed. The addict feels guilt and shame as a result of hurting and
betraying the spouse. Re-establishing mutual trust must be actively addressed and
worked on in treatment. Forgiveness and opening up to being vulnerable again are
necessary ingredients for rebuilding lost trust.
Another “break” in a sex addiction-damaged marriage is the loss of honest communication.The addict has been hiding his acting out with compulsive sexual behaviors,
so deception has become a part of daily married life. The partner of the sex addict, on the other
hand, has suspicions, yet avoids confronting the addict and hides her fears. Self-blame,
feeling responsible for the addict’s secret sexual behaviors, and even blaming herself for
all of the marriage’s problems are some typical reasons for not discussing their issues.
Thus, both partners keep themselves isolated in their emotions. Problems in their own
sexual relationship – a central “break” to be fixed – are rooted in certain core beliefs
which they hold. The addict’s main core belief is that sex is his most important need. The
partner of the sex addict’s main core belief is that sex is the most important sign of love.
Two more “breaks” in the marriage can be traced back to the communication
breakdown and loss of trust. Neither spouse has effective conflict resolutions skills.
Also, both of them have difficulty setting boundaries on what sexual behaviors they can
accept and where they insist on drawing the line.
* Having identified five of the most important problems – “breaks” – that need to be
repaired, what’s next? Where can couples go for help to recover from behaviors that are mutually hurtful?
Be encouraged because there are a variety of places you can go. First, find a therapist conversant with these issues. Couples report that isolation is their number one enemy. Take the first bold step with your spouse to open up and talk with each other. Acknowledge there are problems and you both want to resolve them. Then look into the self-help available to you. There are 12- step programs for the sex addict and for the sexual codependent.. There are also 12- step programs for couples. All of these groups emulate the Alcoholics Anonymous model, which emphasizes the importance of peer support and identification with others who have gone through what you’ve gone through.
You need to break out of the burden of isolation you’ve placed on
yourself due to feelings of guilt and shame. Bringing it into the open and sharing
with other sympathetic couples is invaluable. In couples counseling you’ll discuss subjects that impact your relationships in major ways. Some of these are the renewal of trust, how to work on your communication skills for problem solving, and how to really listen to each other without disapproval.
Be open to understanding that you both will do well when you accept the need for
patience. Recovery, after all, is a process. Just as the problems you are experiencing
didn’t evolve in ten minutes, keep in mind that healing requires a commitment of time.
Recovering couples stress this, and emphasize that they maintain a positive outlook
because they feel good along the way. They know they are empowering themselves
and learning self esteem.
Couples who have participated in therapy, plus 12 step programs for the addict, the partner of the addict, plus the couples’ 12 step groups, have demonstrated a very good success rate.
There is one essential tool to avail yourself of, and that is seeking
treatment with a professional who specializes in sex addiction treatment. Joint
professional counseling will enhance your personal recovery. Devoting yourselves to
self-discovery together is a choice that will yield excellent results in time.
And remember this – once you choose to take the journey, you will begin to experience
many rewards along the road. One of them is an ever increasing personal freedom in your
spirit. You will discover strengths you never knew you were capable of, and courage you
never knew you had. It is possible for you and your spouse to have a loving, intimate, sexual relationship despite having been through the trauma of active sex addiction.

Help for Singles: End the Frustration of Not Meeting the Ideal Mate

Hale Dwoskin, Featured Teacher in “The Secret” and author of appnana hack cheats the New York Times best seller “The Sedona Method,” reveals how people can finally end the frustration of not meeting their ideal mate.
In their quest for true love, Americans spend hundreds of millions of dollars on online dating services every year, according to the Better Business Bureau. Meanwhile, 43 percent of U.S. adults — that’s 87 million people — are single, the Pew Internet & American Life Project found.
Still, even with all those fish in the sea, meeting the ideal mate is not always easy.
Searching for true love can, indeed, feel like searching for a needle in a haystack for many people. And emotions may be wearing thin, particularly for those who feel they have been burned before. Among the challenges of dating that The Pew Project found:
– 47% of singles said there were very few single people in their town they’d be interested in dating
– 55% of singles looking for love said it was difficult to meet people
– 10% said they didn’t know much about the local singles scene
In time, it’s easy for people to internalize their search for the ideal mate and project reasons why it hasn’t worked inward onto themselves. They may even begin to feel something is wrong with them, simply because they have not found the right connection.
And though it may seem that the best way to meet Mr. or Ms. Right is to keep plugging away at the search, this is actually the LAST thing people should be doing.
“If you are searching for that perfect someone stop!” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director click this website of training of Sedona Training Associates.
“The best way to find or attract your perfect partner is to first be your own perfect partner. Most of us are looking to complete ourselves in another person and this never works,” he continues. “If you allow yourself to feel your own inner completeness — that you are enough — then you bring that feeling into your relationships.”
In fact, the more people feel complete with themselves and their own life, the more they will attract the people they are looking for. It may sound hard to believe, but this transition will be effortless because they will have changed the flow of energy in their life.
Right now, for instance, someone may be feeling burdened by their search for love, downhearted by its scarcity in their life, or anxious that they won’t find “the one.” These very natural feelings are putting out negativity all around them, though, and attracting more of it. This is where The Sedona Method — a simple tool to release your negative emotions — is invaluable.
As people release their fears, longing and anxiety, and even as they release the need to find a partner, suddenly the energy around them will become positive. And in that positive energy is the key to attracting an ideal mate.
“If you are really wanting to have a relationship, others can smell that and they tend to shy away,” Dwoskin says. “As you allow yourself to feel complete within yourself by letting go, you will find that you are much more open and available for Mr. or Mrs. Right.”
“Also remember that if you are like most people you are only looking for one person — not many — so if you find yourself meeting some people who are not right at first fifa 15 hack online that is OK,” he says. “Your perfect partner is just a release away.”
Right now everyone can get a free Insiders Guide to The Sedona Method email course sampler by inputting just their name and email in the sidebar on the right of the article at our website

Hello From Sicily ?Italian Studies, A Pottery Lesson And A Hike Up Mount Etna

On a gorgeous morning following a good sleep after last night抯 cooking lesson I woke up at about 6 am and stepped out on the balcony of my hotel room. The sun was just coming up, and the sky was filled with shades of purple and pink. Far away I could see the outline of a strip of land: the Italian mainland, more precisely the Region of Calabria, was visible on this clear day for the first time. The aerial distance between Taormina and the southern tip of Italy is about 40 kilometres, and this sunrise view across the Ionian Sea was simply gorgeous.

I decided to get up early and take a stroll through beautiful Taormina, before the hustle and bustle of the day would kick in. My hotel, Hotel Villa Nettuno, is located on the north side of town on Via Pirandello, outside of the city抯 gates. I really enjoyed the location best fiends hack ios since it was quieter and yet just steps away from the amazingly busy Corso Humberto, Taormina抯 main street in a pedestrian area.

Having strolled through the northeastern Porta di Messina I reached a still quiet piazza in front of the Palazzo Corvaja, seat of the first Sicilian Parliament and today the location of Taormina抯 tourist office. A few of the locals were already up, taxi drivers were getting ready for their first fares, while the pedestrian street of Corso Humberto was still almost completely devoid of people. I reached Taormina抯 main square: Piazza IX Aprile which features a large panoramic terrace facing the Mediterranean and Mount Etna. Two churches, San Giorgio and San Giuseppe, adorn this square, and the famous Torre dell?Orologio (揷lock tower?, featuring the Porta di Mezzo gate, and the famous W黱derbar Caf?anchor this public space on its western side. I could even see most of the volcano today on this relatively clear day. There are not many views that compare with the beautiful vista that spread out in front of me from this lookout point.

My walk on the Corso Umberto continued to the western edge of town where I passed through the Porta di Catania, the western city gate featuring the coat of arms of the Municipality of Taormina. From there I walked to a small park which features another beautiful lookout point that faces straight towards Mount Etna. After absorbing this gorgeous picture and trying to burn it permanently into my retina I started to make my way back, this time along the Via Roma, the picturesque road on the southern edge of town high above the coastline of the Ionian Sea. No wonder Taormina is such a popular tourist destination, the physical beauty of this town and the surrounding area is stunning.

Well, after this hour long walk I definitely deserved my breakfast and reviewed a bit of Italian grammar on the gorgeous terrace of the Hotel Villa Nettuno before I made my way to the Babilonia Language School. Punctually at 9:30 our lesson started and our grammar teacher Carlo familiarized us with the 損reposizioni semplici??the contracted Italian prepositions that are formed from a combination of the actual preposition together with the article. Prepositions are always complicated topics in any language, and Carlo patiently and succinctly explained to us the usage of 搃n?or 損er?to express time in different contexts. We continued with a variety of games to help us remember the use of Italian prepositions, a fun and effective way to learn and retain complicated linguistic concepts.

Just before noon I had an opportunity to complete another interview: Alessandro, Babilonia抯 director, connected me with Donatella Rapisardi, a local Taormina based artist, who provides some of the Pottery Decorating Classes for Babilonia students. For millennia, Sicily has been at fallout shelter cheats tool the confluence of cultures: the Phonecians, Greeks, Carthaginians, Romans, Byzantines, Arabs, Normans, Swebians, Spanish and French have all left their imprint in this culturally rich area, and pottery has been an important craft in Sicily for many centuries.

I met Donatella at the local Hotel del Corso, right on Corso Umberto, where she offers pottery decorating classes on the rooftop terrace with a perfect view of the Palazzo del Duca Santo Stefano with Mount Etna as a backdrop. The weather was gorgeous, the sky was blue: I cannot imagine a more scenic location for pottery painting than Donatella抯 rooftop retreat.

Donatella Rapisardi is a gifted local artists who works in a variety of media. She also heads an organization called the 揋rupo Artistico de Perseo?which organizes various exhibitions and art projects throughout town and the entire region. The group consists of five permanent artist members and a number of other affiliated artists that are coordinated by Donatella and her team. In addition to ceramics, Donatella also creates mosaics using marble and different types of stone) and handles wood restoration.

She explained that the pottery decorating lesson starts with plain terracotta pieces such as vases or tiles on which students apply the design they wish to paint. Two different types of processes are used for pottery painting, Donatella explained in her machine gun Italian: 搇avorare a freddo?means that the pieces are painted without firing them, and 搇avorare a caldo?refers to painted pottery pieces that are fired in a kiln to preserve the painting.

Traditional Sicilian colours such as blue, yellow and green are often used in the ceramics decorating process, although the students are completely free to create their own design and colour choices. Donatella guides them, makes suggestions and gives the students advice when they need it. She also explained that the tiles offer an advantage since they are easy to handle and transport and they offer a great surface for landscape images.

The course includes three lessons per week, and is particularly popular with Babilonia language students from Japan and the United States. Donatella added that Japanese students in particular are extremely precise and detail-oriented and very gifted when it comes to applying decorative painting to pottery. This may have something today with their exposure to the popular Japanese tradition of calligraphy.

Often Donatella抯 students become her friends and she invites them into her home and does a culinary exchange: Donatella will create a variety of Sicilian specialties while her students prepare various tasty treats from their home country. She indicated that to this day she receives emails from some of her Japanese students from years ago, and she enjoys it every time when she receives international correspondence from her previous students.

After having lived in Umbria, another beautiful region of Italy, Donatella moved back to Taormina several years ago which she really enjoys and which inspires her creativity. She also teaches children抯 art courses and volunteers for some local schools. She showed me a couple of pieces that had been completed by students and three of her own works of art. I mentioned I would have loved world of tanks blitz cheats to see her studio to see more of her own art. Maybe next time.

Following this interesting side trip another excursion was waiting for me: punctually at 2:30 pm eleven people were assembled in front of the Babilonia Language School, ready to go hiking on Mount Etna whose summit is located at an altitude of over 3200 m. Peppe Celano, Babilonia抯 social activities coordinator and one of the language teachers, was ready to introduce us first-hand to Sicily抯 highest mountain and an active volcano.

As a matter of fact, Mount Etna had just erupted a few days ago on April 30, but unfortunately I did not see it. The eruption was only a few hours long, and one of my co-students saw the red lava stream at night! So today we would see Europe抯 largest volcano up close.

Peppe had rented a small van and a small passenger car to carry all the participants. Our drive to the parking lot on the southern flanks of Mount Etna took about an hour and twenty minutes. We drove through local towns such as Giarre and Zafferana Etna where Peppe explained that near this area the Arabs used to cultivate saffron, hence the name.

The day was overcast and rather cool, a windproof jacket and a nice sweater were definitely in order. We parked our vehicles on a rather isolated parking lot and got ready for our climb. The lower part of our climb took us through a forested area where the leafs were just starting to come out. Not surprisingly, at almost 2000 m of altitude, the plant growing cycle is a little slower, even on a subtropical island such as Sicily.

Peppe explained that the local fauna includes chestnut, oak and birch trees which have all existed here since before the last ice age. We walked single file along a steep narrow path that was punctuated with many roots and stones, right along a precipice with many lookouts towards the famous 揤alle del Bove?(Valley of the Ox), site of layers upon layers of lava flows.

Our steep hike continued for about an hour and took us from 2000 m in altitude to 2400 m to an area with a perfect view, facing the recent lava flows in the Valle del Bove. The summit area of the volcano stretched out right in front of us. Our area was a side summit designated by a cross and a broad natural ledge that our group used as a perfect posing area for our group shots of our conquest of Mount Etna. We spent about half an hour at the top of this side summit, chatting, snapping pictures and generally enjoying our mountain adventure.

On the way down three ladies, one from Switzerland, one from Germany and one from Austria (me) raced down the mountain in about 20 minutes. Coming down was a heck of a lot easier than going up, and almost sprinting down this steep mountainous pathway was rather exhilarating in itself. Once all the other mountaineers arrived we set off to visit a local winery. The 揗urgo?vineyards were just about 15 minutes away, located in the fertile foothills of Mount Etna and many people in our group bought red, white and sparkling wines. An animated discussion followed in the van and by 7 pm we had arrived back in the school.

After a brief refreshment back at the hotel, a group of us met at a local pizzeria called 揟rocadero? right next to the Porta di Messina, where we were going to have a nice dinner. For some of us this Thursday evening was our last night in Taormina; I was going to leave tomorrow night to go to Milazzo while another person was going on an excursion to the Eolian Islands. Most of our group members were leaving Taormina this weekend, and we were all commenting how much we have been enjoying our experience.

Everyone around the table was a German speaker: we had three folks from Germany, two from Switzerland and myself, originally from Austria. Given the linguistic differences throughout the German-speaking countries, we all mentioned that each one of us has to speak 揌ochdeutsch?(Standard German) in order to be understood by the rest of the group. All of us speak fairly strong dialects that would essentially be incomprehensible to German-speakers from other regions, so we get by, speaking the standard version of our language. For me this exposure to other Europeans was really enjoyable. Having lived more than 20 years in Canada, I hardly ever come in contact with German speakers, so this experience of enjoying a nice meal, speaking in my mother tongue, was a definite treat.

By 9:30 pm I started to get really tired since I had already gone on a one-hour walk through Taormina before breakfast, followed by another walk through town to meet Donatella, the pottery decoration artist, capped off by a short yet strenuous hike up Mount Etna. And tomorrow was after all going to be my last day in Taormina, so it was time to rest.

One thing is for sure, when you come to Taormina for language studies you definitely don抰 get bored.

Helicobacter Pylori Infection & Ayurvedic Treatment

H. pylori a type world of tanks blitz hack tool of bacteria, known as Helicobacter pylori is the main cause of H.Pylori infection.
What happens In H.Pylori infection?It is akind of infection that occurs due to the infection in the stomach, which in turn is caused by H.pylori bacteria. The disorder usually occurs in childhood but may occur at any age. The infection is also one of a major cause of peptic ulcers too. And this problem is one of the most common health problems in the world. Hence, it must be treated well before it pose a serious risk of any other health problem.
What are the symptoms of H. Pylori infection?Most of the times, the symptoms go unnoticed. An infected person may never have any symptoms or signs for the same. While the some may experience the following listed signs.

* Burning sensation in the abdomen.
* more information Pain in the abdomen.
* Loss of appetite and nausea.
* Sudden weight loss.
* Bloating.
* Burping.What are the causes of H.pylori infection?The exact cause of this infection is not known till now. Butit is believed, that the infection may spread from person to person via direct contact through saliva or by vomit or by faecal matter even. The infection may also be spread by contaminated food or water as well.
There are some risk factors also for this infection that are described below1. best fiends hack tool A person living in the crowded place like if he is living with so many people in a single home, is at high risk for the same infection.
2. If you are not having a supply of clean water, then also you are at risk.
3. If you are living where unsanitary conditions are common in the surrounding areas, then also you are at risk.
4. If you make a direct contact with already infected person, then, you are at high risk of developing this infection.
When to call your doctor?If you are experiencing any such symptoms of this infection, then it is the time to call your doctor. If you are having difficulty in swallowing the food or you are suffering from bloody and dark colored stools or you are doing vomiting with blood or coffee like grounds, then seek immediate medical help.
What are the tests that can help to confirm the diagnosis?A simple blood test can help a doctor to confirm the infection. While the breath test and stool test are another great option to confirm the diagnosis. In a breath test, a patient is asked to swallow a pill or liquid that contains carbon molecules in it. When the solution breaks down in the stomach, carbon is released if you are suffering from this infection. The stool test helps in identifying any foreign antigens that are associated with the H.Pyloriinfection.
What are the treatment options available?No doubt, a number of medications are there to manage the infection. But these alternative medications or drugs causes side effects too. There is another safe treatment option – Ayurvedic treatment for H.pylori infection.
Treatment of H.pylori infection by AyurvedaAyurveda is a natural way to treat any disorder without giving side effects. Being natural, it is safe for everyone. Ayurveda helps to treat any health problem by balancing the aggravated doshas of the body.
According to Ayurveda, this infection occurs due to the aggravation of the pitta dosha. The infection begins with the problem of acidity which in turn is known as Amla pitta in Ayurveda.
Hence treatment involves the balancing of the pitta dosha of the body. Ayurveda balances the doshas with the natural herbs. The treatment gives equal importance to healthy food and regular exercise as well.