Decoración de Dormitorios

Decoración de Dormitorios

La decoración de dormitorios resulta un factor muy importante ya que se trata de la estancia en la que dormimos y descansamos, o en el caso de jóvenes y niños es un sitio de refugio y el lugar en el que pasan más tiempo ya sea jugando o delante del ordenador. Por esto, es indispensable tener un buen criterio al momento de decorar el dormitorio, según la edad, los gustos y las necesidades, esto hará que logres la habitación perfecta.

Decoración de Dormitorios

Para decorar dormitorios juveniles, generalmente se trata de un sitio con privacidad porque suelen necesitar su propio espacio para esconderse y tener su intimidad. Un joven necesita de la cama, un escritorio para poder usar su ordenador, un armario amplio y estantes de objetos, recuerdos o libros.

En la decoración de dormitorios de matrimonios, la habitación debe de ser un oasis, un sitio en el que la pareja se refugia cuando los problemas y el estrés cotidiano sofocan. Generalmente una habitación de matrimonio tiene que ser cómoda y amplia. Usualmente no cuenta con escritorio ya que suelen tener un despacho propio. La decoración es subjetiva y depende de los gustos y necesidades de la pareja.

Cuando se trata de dormitorios pequeños, puede haber cierta complejidad, especialmente cuando es para niños y estos crecen. Un niño puede estar bien con una pequeña habitación mientras tenga un espacio de juego, pero a partir de la adolescencia, habrá que sumarle espacio para un escritorio y para su área de estudio.

Cómo negociar la hipoteca

Ha llegado el momento de negociar las condiciones hipotecarias con la entidad que ha aceptado el préstamo solicitado, aunque de entrada te sugerimos que te informes bien de las ofertas de los préstamos hipotecarios existentes hoy en día en el mercado. Las entidades bancarias cuentan con una oferta muy amplia de préstamos hipotecarios con un gran número de variables que podrían resultarte interesante, por lo tanto, el primer paso es informarse de las diferente ofertas para saber cual es la mejor hipoteca para ti. Una visita por las páginas web te dará las pistas necesarias.

Antes de seguir con el artículo queremos hacerte una advertencia: los productos que ofrecen las entidades bancarias son bastante difícil de comparar entre sí (plazos, importes diversos, comisiones, TAE…). Piensa en las variables que puedan interesarte a ti, y en función de las mismas, negocia con un banco teniendo ofertas de diferentes entidades que se ajusten a tus pretensiones. Sin duda alguna, esta es una de las negociaciones más importantes. Para más del 90% de españoles, esta es la operación financiera más importante en toda la vida. Tómate tu tiempo y cuando analices las diferentes ofertas no olvides pedir la simulación con el cuadro al completo de la amortización del préstamo.

    negociar la hipoteca....

Principales variables a tener en cuenta

  • – Comisión por amortización total o parcial. A veces no le damos importancia a esta variable, sin embargo, quizás pasados unos años te sientas prisionero/a de tu préstamo y quieres amortización parte o toda la deuda pendiente.

negociar la hipoteca.

Esto puede darse por muchas circunstancias: cuentas con unos ahorros suculentos, los tipos de interés han bajado y tienes contratado un prestamo con un tipo de interés fijo, has visto una oferta de otra entidad que te ha parecido más atractiva etc. Debes considerar que a largo plazo tanto las condiciones del mercado como las tuyas personales pueden haber cambiado demasiado, incluso en un plazo reducido con un tipo de interés fijo, el escenario puede variar muchísimo. Por todo esto, lo mejor es que valores con tu banco el coste que te supondrá la amortización anticipada, sea parcial o total.

  • – Comisión de apertura. Trata de reducir al máximo esta comisión. Esta comisión está integrada en el TAE, por lo que deberás partir de esta variable para comparar las diferentes ofertas de manera precisa.
  • – Diferencial sobre Euribor. Trata de negociar un diferencial bajo. En cuanto al Euribor, este siempre se ha manejado como el mejor índice de referencia con el mejor comportamiento. Aunque debes tener en cuenta que esto podría variar, es un factor a tener muy en cuenta. Hoy en día casi todas las operaciones financieras hipotecarias se manejan en base al Euribor.

negociar la hipoteca..

Para poder comparar de manera objetiva todas las ofertas de las diferentes entidades bancarias debes tener en cuenta la Tasa Anual Equivalente (TAE), que es el coste anual y real del préstamo. Para poder calcularlo se debe tener en cuenta tanto el tipo de interés de referencia inicial como las comisiones aplicables. Este es uno de los datos más importantes cuando de un préstamo hipotecario se trata, por lo que, es importante tener calculadas la TAE antes de tomar una decisión. Una vez que tengas las ofertas recopiladas de varias entidades, te aconsejamos solicitar la simulación de cada una de ellas, es decir, la cuota mensual y la Tasa Anual Equivalente que ese préstamo conlleva.

  • – Simulación de amortización del periodo completo. Analiza en los préstamos con variables que van cambiando durante el plazo de amortización, los pagos que tendrás que realizas, las cuotas mensuales y la TAE. De esta manera sabrás a ciencia cierta cual es la mejor opción para ti y qué debes negociar con la entidad bancaria, poniendo como no en la balanza todos los aspectos a tener en cuenta: plazo, importe, etc.
  • – Aceptar la vinculación de productos y servicios. Ser antiguo cliente de la entidad bancaria, tener familiares trabajando con el mismo banco, contar con algunas inversiones, planes de pensiones, seguros, tarjetas de debido o de crédito etc. es un punto a nuestro favor, ya que cuanto más tengamos con la entidad más atentos se mostrarán ante nuestras peticiones y sugerencias.

Quizás deberías reservar un tiempo para poder analizar con detenimiento las diferentes ofertas que podemos encontrar por Internet. Aunque algunas te parezcan algo agresivas por sus bajos costes operativos, no te será tan fácil negociar como por un banco convencional. Igualmente no te saltes este paso, muchas veces resulta positivo la búsqueda por la Banca on-line.

Conclusión

negociar la hipoteca

En definitiva, muestra a tu interlocutor que posees conocimientos sobre los préstamos hipotecarios. Nuestro interlocutor no es realmente un asesor personal que mira por nuestro bolsillo, sino un comercial de productos que siempre intentará sacar el máximo beneficio a los clientes. Mira distintas ofertas y trata de ayudarte con un experto si fuera necesario. Como te comentábamos al inicio, hipotecarse no es cualquier cosa, esta es sin duda alguna una de las decisiones más importantes en la vida de cualquier ciudadano. Si cuentas con los conocimientos necesarios podrás encontrar y elegir una hipoteca que se ajuste a tus necesidades.

negociar la hipoteca...

Es muy importante que vayas a la entrevista con el banco teniendo muy claro tanto tus intereses como los del banco, es decir, si cuentas con un sueldo estable o unos ahorros importantes o bien si tienes intención de abrir una cuenta de ahorro o plan de pensiones. No lo dudes, además de todos los datos a negociar con el banco, nuestra mejor baza es lo que podemos ofrecer como clientes para conseguir más beneficios de los que hubieran ofrecido a priori.

Si te presentas con un buen perfil financiero, conseguirás mejores condiciones, ya que la entidad financiera es la primera interesada en no perder a un cliente que le dará beneficios. Por ponerte un ejemplo, las hipotecas más interesantes son aquellas que exigen unos ingresos mínimos de 1.800 euros al mes. Conceder al banco lo que quiere es sin duda alguna la mejor manera de negociar por nuestros intereses. Desde Casa y Dinero te deseamos ¡mucha suerte!

Cómo ahorrar en la firma de la hipoteca

precio de vivienda

Si estás pensando en comprarte una casa es conveniente que sepas que los precios de las mismas están hoy día en caída libre. En los últimos años, las entidades bancarias han tenido que restringir los créditos a particulares, lo que origina que se hayan vendido pocos inmuebles porque se hace más difícil cada vez acceder a un crédito hipotecario. A esto hay que añadirle que la negociación de una hipoteca es para el 90% de los españoles, la operación financiera más arriesgada en toda su vida, por ello es importante tener en cuenta algunos conceptos para poder ahorrar a la hora de contratar una hipoteca. Los conceptos principales son la TAE, el diferencial, en plazo de devolución y las comisiones del préstamo.

Cómo ahorrar en la hipoteca

crédito para tu vivienda

El endurecimiento en las condiciones que ponen las entidades bancarias para conceder un préstamo hipotecario ha incidido de manera directa en los precios de los inmuebles, por lo que es preciso que tengas en cuentas ciertos conceptos en los que puedes economizar en la firma de tu hipoteca. ¡Comenzamos!

1. Estudia varias ofertas

No te conformes con la primera oportunidad que aparezca. Como comprador debes informarte muy bien de todas las ofertas que hay en el mercado para conseguir la mejor hipoteca para ti. Lo mejor es que estudies aquellas que te parecen más baratas, acude a distintas entidades bancarias y negocio acuerdos con ella para más tarde aceptar si te parece conveniente. Hoy en día es muy fácil comparar en Internet las diferentes ofertas hipotecarias, es más, si estás bastante familiarizado con los ordenadores puedes incluso contratar una hipoteca online, ya que hay ofertas exclusivas que solo se pueden contratar en la red. Por norma general, estas hipotecas son las más atractivas porque precisan de menores costes operativos.

2. La vinculación con el banco

A veces, por el nerviosismo que nos provoca la contratación de una hipoteca cometemos el error de decir que sí a todo, sobre todo cuando de seguros se trata. Sin embargo, lo ideal sería repasar varias ofertas de compañías de seguros para contratar las opciones más económicas e interesantes. En la mayoría de casos el comprador se ve obligado a contratar también un seguro de vida y uno de hogar. La entidad bancaria intentará siempre que contrates el máximo número de seguros posibles, pero debes saber que el único seguro obligatorio es el seguro de continente. Si el banco te ofrece una rebaja en las comisiones o en el diferencial a cambio de contratar un seguro o domiciliar la nómina debes comparar el coste de estos productos con el ahorro que “supondrían”.

3. Rebaja en la TAE y el diferencial

préstamo hipotecario

El diferencial es el porcentaje añadido al valor del índice de referencia (el Euribor por lo general) en el momento en que se revisa el tipo de interés en un préstamo hipotecario. Podemos decir que el diferencial es una variable que debes negociar con entidades bancarias para obtener mejores condiciones en la hipoteca. Ten muy claro que cuanto más bajo consigas el diferencial, más barata será tu hipoteca.

Además del diferencial, es primordial que consigas una TAE adecuada para rebajar aún más la hipoteca. Ten en cuenta también, que en las condiciones el cálculo de la TAE estará la letra pequeña de las ofertas y precisamente por esto debes tener claro un criterio que dice así, “cuánto más pequeña sea la letra mayor será la atención al leer”. Una vez recopiladas diferentes ofertas de distintas entidades, es aconsejable que solicites una simulación de hipoteca para poder estudiar así, cuál es la cuota mensual y cuál es la TAE del préstamo.

4. Tasación y notaría

Cuando de una hipoteca se trata hay ciertos gastos que son inevitables, entre ellos, el coste de tasación y de la notaría:

En cuanto a la tasación, la entidad bancaria encargará a un profesional la tasación de la vivienda para conocer su valor y comprobar que no pesan cargas sobre la vivienda. Debes pedir información al banco sobre las empresas con las que trabaja para escoger la que mejor precio ofrezca. No obstante, si quieres aportar una tasación certificada mediante un tasador homologado, el banco no podrá cobrarte por una nueva tasación.
En cuanto a la notarías, es posible y muy conveniente que compares entre varias notarías y selecciones la que mejor precio te dé. Entre unas notarías y otras puedes ahorrarte más de 100€.

5. Plazo de amortización

Cuanto menos edad se tenga más fácil resultará conseguir un plazo de amortización mayor. Un plazo elevado suele ser lo mejor, ya que se paga menos cada mes y por lo tanto se puede disfrutar de una economía más estable. Sin embargo, cabe destacar que a mayor plazo mayores intereses y finalmente mayor coste de la hipoteca. Con los créditos hipotecarios a 20 y 30 años, los bancos han conseguido una gran rentabilidad mientras que con hipotecas a 30 años nadie les puede garantizar que un cliente podrá afrontar a largo plazo todos los pagos. En la medida de lo posible, lo más recomendable es contratar un crédito hipotecario a 10 o 15 años.

6. La escritura

una buena hipoteca

Cuando vayas a contratar la hipoteca debes tener muy presente que puedes y debes examinar bien la escritura pública del préstamo hipotecario, puedes hacerlo hasta tres días hábiles ante de la firma. Puedes pedir además un borrador al notario para poder leerla tranquilamente y con detenimiento. Ante una cláusula que te genere dudas debes consulta a un experto. A veces pueden haber cláusulas perjudiciales que se pasan por alto por falta de conocimientos, sin embargo, esta inversión conlleva ciertos riesgos que no debemos pasar por alto.

7. ¡Negocia!

Si hubiera alguna cláusula extraña sobre algún tema que no se hubiera tratado con anterioridad, lo mejor es negociar antes de firmar para que realicen los cambios. Asegúrate de que los cambios deseado por tu parte se contemplen en la escritura. A largo plazo obtendrás un ahorro notable. Una cambio o corrección que se tenga que hacer después de la firma costará tiempo y dinero. ¡Negocia!

Pasos para la formalización de un préstamo hipotecario

préstamo hipotecario

Una vez que el banco acepte la oferta de compraventa llegará el momento de la formalización del préstamo hipotecario, es decir, la hora de la firma. Para llegar a este paso es necesario antes aportar la documentación requerida:

Escrituras del vendedor, último recibo pagado del Impuesto sobre Bienes Inmuebles y la condiciones de compraventa, que serán las misma del contrato si lo hubiere, con esto queda todo listo para firmar en pocos días las escrituras.

Por norma general, se formalizará la escritura de compra-venta y la de préstamo hipotecario ante la presencia de un notario. Comprueba que el contrato hipotecario lleve consigo todas las cláusulas que aceptaste en la oferta vinculante. Si lo deseas, puedes comprobarlo unos días antes en el notario, quien deberá hacerse responsable de toda la documentación. Es conveniente también que el notario verifique mediante el Registro de la Propiedad que el inmueble a comprar no ha sufrido ningún cambio desde el momento en que se llevó a cabo la primera verificación y la firma de la escritura.

La documentación a entregar en cada caso es la siguiente:

préstamo hipotecario

  • En general:

fotocopia del NIF/CIF del o los solicitantes

copia de la escritura del inmueble a hipotecar

verificación o certificación registral

  • Trabajador por cuenta ajena:

ultimas nóminas

ultima Declaración de la Renta

otros justificantes de ingresos, si los hubieran.

  • Trabajador por cuenta propia:

última Declaración de la Renta

pagos fraccionados de renta del año en curso

última declaración anual del IVA

¿Cuándo dispondrás del préstamo?

préstamo hipotecario

Conforme estés firmando seguramente te estés planteando cuando podrás disponer del préstamo, pues bien, de acuerdo con la legislación en España, la garantía hipotecaria quedará constituida una vez que la escritura notarial se inscriba en el Registro de la Propiedad. Por ello, y dado al elevado importe en los préstamos hipotecarios lo más lógico sería que la entidad bancaria sólo permitiera la disposición del préstamo una vez que se haya inscrito la hipoteca, lo que podría requerir un plazo de tiempo largo.

Sin embargo y para tú tranquilidad, la mayoría de entidades bancarias entregan el importe del crédito hipotecario una vez que se firmen las escrituras, a fin de que se pueda pagar al vendedor del inmueble en el mismo acto y evitarle así las dificultades y costes que acarrearían la necesidad de aplazar dicho pago. Por este motivo, con el fin de poder entregar inmediatamente el importe recibido por el banco y asegurarse a su vez que la escritura se presentará en el Registro de la Propiedad, la entidad efectuará una selección rigurosa de todos los intervinientes externos -gestoría administrativa, notario etc.- en orden para lograr la mayor eficiencia.

¿Cómo obtener una copia de la escritura?

préstamo hipotecario

Para obtener una copia de la escritura del préstamo puedes solicitarla en el notario donde se realizó la firma. El coste de ésta no es muy elevado y te permitirá conocer tanto tus obligaciones como tus derechos respecto al crédito hipotecario. Si prefieres que sea la misma gestoría quien se encargue de este trámite junto al resto de servicios házselo saber.

La escritura debe contener las cláusulas acordadas previamente con todos los datos del préstamo, es decir, capital, número de cuotas, plazo de amortización, intereses, gastos, seguro contra-incendio e intereses de demora, entre otras cosas. Como solicitante de un préstamo hipotecario no debes tener ningún inconveniente a la hora de solicitar ayuda al Notario para que le resuelva todas tus dudas. Hay que decir también que dada la seriedad y la solvencia de las entidades bancarias, los Notarios actúan casi de oficio cuando advierten alguna error o irregularidad.

¿Qué impuestos hay que pagar?

préstamo hipotecario

Si el préstamo hipotecario es concedido por una entidad bancaria o una persona jurídica que se dedica a estas actividades habitualmente, el acto estará sujeto al IVA, pero exento del mismo. La hipoteca tributa a través del Impuesto de Transmisiones Patrimoniales al tipo del 0,50%. Debes tener muy en cuenta este dato porque también tendrás que contarlo a la hora de llevar a cabo los cálculos de los gastos por tramitación.

¿Por qué contar con una provisión de fondos?

Como os comentábamos al inicio de este artículo, la compra de un inmueble y la financiación de mismo mediante el préstamo hipotecario lleva consigo una serie de gastos que son necesarios para poder llevar a cabo esa operación. Estos gastos son totalmente ajenos a la entidad bancaria, como es el notario, la gestoría y los impuestos, entre otros. Bien, dicho esto, debes contar con una provisión de fondos que manejará la gestoría encargada de los trámites administrativos que una vez abone dichos gastos entregará al cliente el remanente sobrante, si es que quedara. De todas formas, podrás contar con todos lo recibos generados a partir de cada trámite.

¿Cuáles son los gastos de cancelación?

préstamo hipotecario

En cuanto a los gastos de cancelación debes tener claro que el hecho de haber pagado el total del préstamos hipotecario no cancela la garantía del mismo, la cual figura en el Registro de la Propiedad. Para dar por finalizado este tramo y eliminar este anotación sólo debe solicitar a la entidad bancaria una nueva escritura en la que no podrá comparecer ya el prestatario, y reconociendo el haber abonado la cantidad íntegra de dicho préstamo. Este documento también debe ser inscrito en el Registro de la Propiedad y todos los gastos correrán a cuenta del prestatario.

Tanto la concesión como la formalización de un préstamo hipotecario es un proceso complejo, con una serie de aspectos técnicos a tener en cuenta, por lo que es muy importante que planifiques y consideres todo antes de llevar a cabo la adquisición de un inmueble. ¡Esto es todo! Si te quedaba alguna duda con respecto a la formalización de un préstamo hipotecario esperamos haberlas resulta en este artículo. De no ser así, cuéntanos de qué se trata y estaremos dispuestos a ayudarte. En Casa y Dinero pensamos en ti…

Cómo saber si te están ofreciendo una buena hipoteca

una buena hipoteca

Últimamente ronda mucho la idea generalizada, aunque no se ha concretado aún más que un par de propuestas, es que vamos a ver una amplia bajada en los diferenciales de aquellas hipotecas con renta variable y en el nivel de dureza que han impuesto estos últimos años en cuanto a las condiciones de acceso a créditos hipotecarios. Sin embargo, esto no significa que podamos contratar hipotecas fácilmente o que todas las hipotecas sean exactamente iguales. Hoy queremos mostrarte una serie de claves para que puedas saber si realmente te están ofreciendo una buena hipoteca. ¡Presta atención!

Condiciones de acceso

una buena hipoteca

El problema de este punto es que da igual el hecho de encontrarnos con hipotecas con diferenciales bajos si las condiciones de acceso son tan elevadas que causan rechazo en los usuarios por no poder cumplir con ellas. De momento, las consideradas mejores hipotecas con diferenciales inferiores al 2% exigían unos niveles de ingresos muy elevados, por encima de 50.000 euros mensuales por núcleo familiar o por solicitante, lo que ya de entrada limita la cantidad de usuarios que pueden contratar estas hipotecas. Ahora bien, esto está cambiando y en la nueva oferta las exigencias de ingresos han bajado a 2000 euros mensuales por núcleo familiar o solicitante, una rebaja considerable que nos acerca más a la posibilidad de contratación que en anteriores ofertas.

Financiación

una buena hipoteca

Hoy en día casi todas las entidades bancarias ofrecen un 80% de financiación en el valor de la compra, por lo que el resto deberá salir de tu bolsillo. Esto siempre y cuando la hipoteca no sea para una segunda vivienda, en estos casos la financiación no suele superar ni el 60% del valor de la compra. Si encuentras un banco que te ofrezca más no dudes en saber más acerca de esta hipoteca pero la realidad es que hoy por hoy esta es la financiación que nos ofrecen. Procura ahorrar para cubrir el resto o no será posible llevar a cabo la contratación de una hipoteca.

Intereses y comisiones

una buena hipoteca

Si estamos ante una buena hipoteca, ésta debe ofrecernos como mínimo en hipotecas variables un diferencial inferior al 2% y unos niveles de vinculación mínimos y aceptables. Actualmente las mejores ofertas son las que tienen un diferencial del 1,70%, pero obviamente es muy difícil encontrar la entidad que ofrezca un diferencial tan bajo. Ten en cuenta que si encuentras una hipoteca variable con este diferencial te encontrarás también con unos niveles de vinculación estructurados y de manera directa, es decir, que por cada producto que contrates supondrá una bonificación a modo de descuento, no obligándonos de esta manera a contratar todo el paquete para poder obtener dicha bonificación.

Por norma general, la ausencia de comisiones es hoy en día la tónica, pero en todo caso las comisiones harán siempre referencia a cuestiones tales como la cancelación anticipada, no a las comisiones principales. Las mejores ofertas hipotecarias mantienen esta línea de retirada en las comisiones principales. De todas formas, no te vuelvas loco/a, hasta ahora estamos ante una posible mejoría en algunas ofertas como las que veremos a continuación, pero no hemos llegado al eo punto todavía para lo que la compra de una viviendo supone, ¡seguimos!

La vinculación

una buena hipoteca

Sin lugar a dudas este va a ser el gran hándicap en los próximos años en cuanto a hipotecas se refiere. Las mejores ofertas tenían hasta ahora unos niveles de vinculación muy elevados, tanto que obligaban a los usuarios a contratar todos los productos financieros que manejaba la entidad a fin de obtener el mayor grado de bonificación y beneficio. Esto aunque no es negativo por el hecho de interesar a bastantes usuarios acaba siendo a largo plazo un hecho totalmente paradójico, ya que el coste de los productos puede elevar el costo de la hipoteca. Igualmente, pregunta el precio de los seguros que te ofrecen, la duración de los mismos y muy importante, la forma de pago, pues todo esto en el precio final.

Recuerda que una hipoteca con mayor diferencial tendrá siempre menos exigencias de vinculación. Del mismo modo que somos capaces de hacer una comparativa de los diferenciales que nos ofrecen las diferentes entidades bancarias, también somos capaces de establecer una comparativa sobre los diferentes niveles de vinculación, viendo la contratación de una hipoteca como un producto asociado a otros productos que nos obligan a permanecer más atados aún a nuestro crédito hipotecario.

Debes tener en cuenta que…

una buena hipoteca.

Además de estos aspectos hay otros que no debes olvidar cuando de hipotecas se trata. Busca asesoramiento de la mano de familiares y amigos que tengan hipoteca y conozca de primera mano como funcionan este tipo de negociaciones bancarios. Otra manera de asesorarte es acudiendo a diferentes entidades bancarias para comparar información y aquellas herramientas informativas que pongan en tus manos. Podrás así conocer mejor cada producto y tomar una decisión acertada.

Por otro lado tenemos cada vez más presentes en nuestras vidas las entidades online que ofrecen actualmente diferenciales muy bajos y menos comisiones. En cuanto al proceso de negociación todo es aceptable y es una pequeña variación en el diferencial supone un gran ahorro.

Por último y para concluir, una buena hipoteca es aquella que nos ofrezca un diferencial alrededor del 2%, la menor vinculación y el menor número posible de comisiones. Si te ofrecen esto entonces te están ofreciendo una buena hipoteca, de lo contrario es mejor que no tomes una decisión apresurada y valores todas las posibilidades. Elegir la hipoteca adecuada es un proceso clave y una decisión muy importante, por lo que deberás tener en cuenta todas estas claves anteriormente mencionadas y otras que seguramente encuentres en diferentes medios. ¡Te deseamos mucha suerte!

Cómo conseguir que el banco te conceda la hipoteca

Los bancos han endurecido mucho más en los últimos años los requisitos y condiciones para otorgar una hipoteca. Ahora miran con lupa tanto los ingresos como la situación laboral de los clientes que solicitan un crédito hipotecario. Queremos dejarte algunos consejos que pueden ayudarte a la hora de conseguir financiación para comprar una vivienda. ¡Presta atención!

banco te conceda la hipoteca

  • Contar con unos ahorros.

Las entidades bancarias no ofrecen ya el 100% de financiación, en algunos casos no pasan incluso del 80% del valor del inmueble. Si cuentas con un dinero ahorrado tendrás más probabilidades de que alguna entidad te conceda el préstamo. Igualmente debes pensar que lo mejor es no quedarte del todo sin ahorros, pues siempre podría haber algún contratiempo.

  • Optar por la compra de un piso del banco.

Las entidades bancarias prefieren financiar una vivienda de la que ellos mismos comercializan que una vivienda de un particular, algunas entidades llegan incluso a financiar hasta el 100% del valor del inmueble en cartera.

  • Dos firmantes en la hipoteca es mejor que uno.

Las entidades bancarias prefieren un titular de hipoteca con avalista que un titular de hipoteca solo, y es que de esta manera el riesgo de sufrir un impago es mucho menor.

  • Buscar en diferentes bancos.

Te aconsejamos buscar en diferentes entidades bancarias para entender bien cómo funcionan las hipotecas y ver con quien puedes llegar a un acuerdo de negociación. Usa también a través de Internet los diferentes comparadores de hipotecas.

  • Negociación.

Para llegar a un buen acuerdo con un banco es necesario que aprendas a venderte como cliente. La antigüedad como cliente, los productos financieros que tengas contratados con ellos e incluso los que puedas llegar a contratar como el seguro de hogar, el seguro de vida etc.

  • Sé realista.

Saber a qué casa podemos acceder y nos podemos permitir es una forma de evitar solicitar cantidades que se alejan de nuestro alcance. Ajústate a una cantidad razonable y verás cómo logras que te concedan la hipoteca.

¿Cuánto dinero pedir en la hipoteca?

banco te conceda la hipoteca.

El importe de un préstamo es la cantidad de dinero que una entidad bancaria entrega a un cliente. Este dato junto al plazo de devolución y los intereses, son uno de los factores principales en una operación de esta índole. Para determinar el importe del préstamo que el banco está dispuesto a ofrecer a un cliente es necesario contar con la siguiente documentación:

– Capacidad de pago del cliente con una relación de ingresos y de gastos del mismo.

– Valor de tasación del inmueble que se desea comprar.

– Porcentaje de financiación de la entidad bancaria.

Uno de los grandes problemas actualmente en España es que años atrás erróneamente se concedían hipotecas a cuyas personas les costaría más tarde pagarlas porque sus ingresos eran bajos.

Tipos de intereses

banco te conceda la hipoteca..

Como seguramente sabrás ya, el tipo de interés se trata del precio que cobran los bancos por prestar determinada cantidad de dinero a un cliente. Existen dos tipos de intereses: fijo y variable. En el primero de ellos el cliente se quitará de encima la incertidumbre producida por los cambios que pudieran darse en los tipos de interés. Con este tipo de interés no se vería perjudicado por una subida de intereses, pero tampoco se beneficiaría ante una bajada. Por lo tanto, la cuota será la misma durante toda la duración del préstamo.

Por el contrario, si el tipo de intereses es variable se irá modificando la cuota a lo largo de la duración del préstamo. Su evolución depende siempre del índice que se acuerda y que generalmente es el Euribor. En resumen, el cliente es quien asume siempre el mayor riesgo en la variación del tipo de intereses.

Contratar hipotecas en Internet: una opción rentable

Antes de decidirte por una hipoteca, es conveniente que rastrees por Internet para comparar las diferentes ofertas. A través de Internet las entidades bancarias suelen ofrecer mejores condiciones y costes más bajos, aunque como en todas las hipotecas, existen sus limitaciones. La mayoría de estas hipotecas han sido creadas con el objetivo de captar clientes a los que poder exigir la domiciliación de su nómina o la contratación de diferentes seguros. Además, las hipotecas online no solo cuentan con mejores condiciones, sino que suponen también un buen ahorro en las comisiones y otros gastos. Puedes utilizar un comparador de hipotecas y los diferentes simuladores que hay en la red, te ayudará a decidir la mejor hipoteca para ti.

Toma de decisiones

banco te conceda la hipoteca...

Es muy importante que recibas todo tipo de información antes de contratar una hipoteca. Adquirir una vivienda es un asunto muy serio, sobre todo en los tiempos que corren, esta es una de las operaciones financieras más serias que podemos realizar a lo largo de nuestra vida. Infórmate sobre las condiciones y requisitos que te pueden exigir para la tramitación de un préstamo hipotecario.

Es importante también que conozcas el contexto en el que nos movemos en la actualidad. Si estás pensando comprar una casa, lo primero que debes tener en cuenta que actualmente los precios de los inmuebles son mucho más asequibles que años atrás, pero no por esto significa que sea más fácil obtener un préstamo. Las entidades bancarias están atravesando dificultades que se traducen literalmente en potentes restricciones de crédito para particulares.

La finalidad de un préstamo hipotecario es la adquisición de un inmueble de primera o segunda mano, sin embargo, también puede dirigirse a la financiación de un terreno en construcción, la rehabilitación de una vivienda, la ampliación de hipoteca y muchas otras finalidades. Según para que sea la finalidad, las condiciones varían decisivamente en el crédito hipotecario.

Si quieres conseguir que el banco te conceda la hipoteca debes tener en cuenta todos los aspectos aquí mencionados, así como otros que iremos tratando próximamente. En Casa y Dinero queremos serte útiles, como hemos dicho anteriormente, la compra de una vivienda es una de las decisiones financieras más importantes en la vida de cualquier persona, por lo que deseamos ayudar a dar los pasos necesarios y adecuados para la compra de tu inmueble ¡Gracias por leernos!

El mejor crédito para tu vivienda

crédito para tu vivienda

Las entidades bancarias anuncian unas hipotecas que parecen atractivas pero que no son accesibles para cualquier cliente debido a la situación actual del mercado inmobiliario, con diferenciales subiendo, tipos de interés al alza etc. Por este motivo, cuando nos encontramos en la búsqueda de la hipoteca ideal para nosotros, lo hacemos con la esperanza de encontrar la mejor, lo que a menudo nos lleva a sufrir frustraciones y pérdidas de tiempo porque lo que parecía real no es lo que en realidad nos ofrecen porque no podemos cumplir con los requisitos, por nuestras características o bien porque no son que esperábamos.

Si quieres evitar todas estas situaciones es muy importante que conozcas bien cuáles son tus necesidades y tus limitaciones, así como tus armas ante las entidades bancarias para lograr la hipoteca que quieras. A continuación te exponemos una serie de apartados para ayudarte a conseguir el mejor crédito para tu vivienda.

Financiación

 

crédito para tu vivienda

Como es lógico, no es lo mismo que necesitemos el 50% del valor de la hipoteca que el 100% más los gastos de gestiones. En la mayoría de entidades sólo ofrecen el 80% del valor de tasación y el precio de compra. Por lo tanto, si cuentas con algunos ahorros para reducir lo que puedas a la hipoteca, será un punto a tu favor para conseguir el mejor crédito.

Para calcular cuánto puedes solicitar dependerá de tu salario, la duración de la hipoteca, el tipo de interés al que puedas acogerte etc. Por lo general, para poder obtener un crédito hipotecario no puede ser superior al 30 o 40% el pago mensual de lo que ganes, por lo tanto, si pides menos de esa cantidad podrás aspirar a un crédito hipotecario mejor.

Endeudamiento

 

crédito para tu vivienda

Igual que en el apartado anterior, no es lo mismo el 25% de endeudamiento que el 45%. Nuestra capacidad de endeudamiento nos permitirá o no el tener más posibilidades de conseguir la financiación que queramos (préstamo fijo o variable, periodos de carencia, etc.). El banco nos dará un préstamo de este tipo si a la hora de pagar no nos vemos en un aprieto, a menos riesgo menos interés. Si no tienes ningún crédito pendiente hazlo destacar en la entidad bancaria para que puedas acceder a la mejor hipoteca.

Los créditos hipotecarios tienen un plazo de tiempo medio de 20 años, por lo que puedes hacer tu mismo los cálculos partiendo de la base de tu actual situación. Debes valor tu estabilidad familiar, tu posibilidad real para incrementar tus ingresos y qué puedes hacer en caso de surgir algún imprevisto. Convencer a una entidad bancaria de que puedes pagar una hipoteca no es tarea fácil, pero si tus ingresos son estables puede ser que consigas disminuir algunas décimas en el diferencial del tipo de interés, algo que supondría un periodo inferior en la duración del préstamo.

Crédito hipotecario fijo, variable y mixto

crédito para tu vivienda

Para elegir el mejor crédito para tu vivienda debes tener en cuenta dos cosas, una, tu capacidad para asumir las subidas y bajadas del Euribor a lo largo de tu vida y dos, si un plazo fijo es suficiente en el tiempo para cubrir el total del préstamo. Una cuota fija te quita de en medio cualquier incertidumbre acerca de tu hipoteca, lo que es recomendable para personas con ingresos no muy altos.

Por otro lado, las entidades bancarias están ofertando las hipotecas mixtas con las que puedes mantener durante el periodo inicial del préstamo un tipo de interés fijo y el resto de tiempo variable. Analizar bien tu situación actual y decantarte por la hipoteca que mejor se adapta a tus necesidades es en gran manera una forma de encontrar la mejor hipoteca.

Duración del préstamo

En esta cuestión creo que todos sabemos que el menor plazo que te permita tus ingresos es siempre lo mejor. El banco verá con buenos ojos el hecho de que puedas permitirte la elección de una hipoteca a corto plazo (15-20 años), ya que en caso de una situación inesperada o una mala situación siempre se podrá realizar una ampliación de hipoteca. Además, esto sería un claro síntoma de disciplina financiera y fortaleza.

Negociación de comisiones

 

crédito para tu vivienda

Por normal general, las comisiones que se suelen negociar con los bancos son siempre la comisión de apertura y de cancelación. La primera se cobra una vez sola antes de firmar el crédito hipotecario y la segunda la aplicarán cuando se haga una amortización anticipada, si se diera el caso. Negocia todo lo que puedas estas comisiones, ya que de esta manera puedes ahorrarte dinero tanto ahora como de cara al futuro.

Vinculación de seguros

Los bancos la mayoría de veces nos ofrecen una serie de seguros vinculados a nuestro préstamo hipotecario. Si aceptas sus seguros lo más probable es que te rebajen el diferencial, algo de lo más conveniente. Por lo general son el seguro de vida y el seguro de hogar, pero también hoy en día comercializan algunos seguros de protección de pagos e incluso seguros de protección de tipo de interés. Valora las coberturas de cada uno de estos seguros, la contraprestación que recibirás, el coste etc. La vinculación de seguros es una de las mejores armas a la hora de conseguir la mejor hipoteca.

Conseguir la mejor hipoteca para tu vivienda no es tarea fácil, pero si dedicas el tiempo suficiente para tomar la mejor decisión seguro consigues tu propósito. No aceptes la primera hipoteca que te ofrezcan, compara entre varias opciones y lee detenidamente cualquier documento que tengas que firmar. Si por el contrario, tienes muchas dudas y no te sientes seguro, es mejor que te hagas con los servicios de un asesor especializado, eso sí, siempre asegurándote antes que eres tú quien decidirá cómo y cuándo firmar. No pagues los servicios recibidos hasta que firmes el crédito hipotecario y como no, comparando los diferentes asesores si así hubiera sido. Estate muy atento a todos los pasos que das y no te des por convencido hasta que consigas justo lo que estás buscando.

Help When Shopping At Furniture Stores

From time to time, homeowners like to buy new furnishings for their home. As styles come and go, they may choose to update their home’s interior by purchasing new couches, love seats, ottomans, beds, dressers, and dining room tables. When they go shopping at furniture stores, some people might be overwhelmed by the number of choices available. In order to buy the best pieces for their house, they may choose to make a list of their needs before they head to the store.

What they decide to purchase often depends on the room they are redecorating. When people want to redo their living room, they most often want to buy large furnishings that will allow the room to look inviting and functional. As such, they may select a new sofa, love seat, recliners, and a coffee table. Rather than buy random pieces, people typically select sets that coordinate together. The set features similar colors and patterns.

This room of the house may also call for new carpeting. These retailers sell area rugs and whole room carpeting in most instances. If that particular room has hardwood floors, people might not want to cover the floor entirely. Rather, they may accent their furnished look with a throw or area rug that matches the sofa, draperies, and other items.

Along with living rooms, dining rooms can be remodeled. Whether or not the dining area will be used as formal room or casual dining click this website area influences what kind of items the homeowners gardenscapes cheats android may choose. Formal rooms often call for longer tables and upholstered chairs. Many people like tables made of dark woods, like mahogany, cherry, or oak. Casual rooms might be furnished with round breakfast tables and matching chairs. These items may be made of lighter woods, including bamboo or wicker.

People have a variety of options when it comes to decorating their bedrooms. Adult bedrooms most often involve being furnished with full, queen, or king sized beds. Some bedroom sets are matched with dressers and nightstands. Some sets even include television sets or game systems as part of the package.

Children’s bedrooms can be decorated more whimsically to reflect the child’s personality and interests. Many children like to have bunk beds, futons, or canopy beds in their bedrooms. Some beds even come in the shape of a car or airplane. Their dressers may be painted any color to match the parents’ decoration scheme.

When people go to retailers to look for pieces, they might want to specify to their sales person for what precisely they are searching. The sales person can ask for details, such as how large a particular area in the house is or what kind of colors they want to include in their remodeling project. With this, they can narrow down their customers’ search and guide them in their buying process.

When people go shopping at furniture stores, they might not be able to articulate what fifa 15 hack online kind of furnishings they need for their homes. However, by visualizing what they want their home to look like when they finish their redecorating project, they may be able to pick out good choices for their houses.

Help for the Partners of Sex Addicts

Frequently Asked Questions
What is sex addiction?
Sex addiction is an obsessive relationship to sexual thoughts, fantasies or activities that an individual continues to engage in despite adverse consequences. These thoughts, fantasies or activities occupy a disproportionate amount of “psychic space”, resulting in an imbalance in the person’s overall functioning in important areas of life, such as work and marriage. Distress, shame and guilt about the behaviors erode the addict’s already weak self-esteem.
Sexual addiction can be conceptualized as an intimacy disorder manifested as a compulsive cycle of preoccupation, ritualization, sexual behavior, and despair.
Central to the disorder is the inability of the individual to adequately bond and attach in intimate relationships. The syndrome is rooted in early attachment failure with primary caregivers. It is a maladaptive a way to compensate for this early attachment failure. Addiction is a symbolic enactment of deeply entrenched unconscious dysfunctional relationships with self and others.
While the definition of sex addiction is the same as that of other addictions, sexual compulsion is set apart from other addictions in that sex involves our innermost unconscious wishes, needs, fantasies, fears and conflicts.
Like other addictions, it is relapse prone.
While there currently is no diagnosis of sex addiction in the DSM-IV, clinicians in the sex addiction field have developed general criteria for diagnosing sex addiction. If an individual meets three or more of these criteria, he/she could be considered a sex addict:
1. Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses in order to engage in compulsive sexual behaviors.
2. Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent, or over a longer period of time than intended.
3. Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop or control those behaviors.
4. Preoccupation with sexual behavior or preparatory activities. (rituals)
5. Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations.
6. Continuation of the behavior despite recurrent social, financial, psychological, or marital problems that is caused by the behavior.
7. Giving up or limiting social, occupational or recreational activities due to the behavior.
8. Distress, anxiety, restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior.
How do I know if my partner is a sex addict?
Sometimes, it’s difficult to know whether someone close to you has an addiction. The addict might hide the addictive behavior or you might not know the warning signs or symptoms. Here are some of the signs and symptoms:
* Staying up late to watch television or surf the Web
Looking at pornographic material such as magazines, books, videos and clothing catalogs
Frequently isolating themselves from spouses or partners, and doesn’t inform them of their whereabouts
Are controlling during sexual activity or have frequent mood swings before or after sex
Are demanding about sex, especially regarding time and place
Gets angry if someone shows concern about a problem with pornography
Offers no appropriate communication during sex
Lacks intimacy before, during and after sex, and offers little or no genuine intimacy in the relationship
Does not want to socialize with others, especially peers who might intimidate them
Fails to account for increasing number of toll – 800 or 900 – calls
Frequently rents pornographic videotapes
Seems to be preoccupied in public with everything around them
Has tried to switch to other forms of pornography to show a lack of dependency on one kind; concoct rules to cut down but doesn’t adhere to them
Feels depressed
Is increasingly dishonest
Hides pornography at work or home
Lacks close friends of the same sex
Frequently uses sexual humor
Always has a good reason for looking at pornography (Psych Central.com).
Why can’t he control his sexual behavior?
It’s important for you to know that your partner is not volitionally involved in these behaviors so you can begin to understand and, perhaps, forgive. Most addicts would stop if they could.
It’s been said that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to manage. This syndrome is a complex mixture of biological, psychological, cultural, and family-of-origin issues, the combination of which creates impulses and urges that are virtually impossible to resist. Despite the fact that acting them out produces considerable long-term negative consequences, the addict simply cannot resist his impulses. Individuals who are highly disciplined, accomplished and able to direct the force of their will in other areas of life fall prey to sexual compulsion. More importantly, people who love and cherish their partners can still be enslaved by these irresistible urges.
From a biological standpoint, research has shown that certain formations in the right temporal lobe make certain individuals more prone to sexual arousability from birth. Whether or not such an individual becomes sexually compulsive or perverse then depends on the child’s home environment.
Research has also shown that the inability to control sexual impulses is associated with neurochemical imbalances in the norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine systems. The use of certain anti-depressants (SSRI’s) has thus shown to be very effective in treating the impulse control problems of many sexual compulsives. Biological predisposition contributes and combines with psychological factors. One of the reasons the “erotic haze” is so compulsory is that it unconsciously repairs earlier disturbed, anxiety-laden relationships. It shores up an inadequate sense of self that results from these early-life interpersonal abandonments, intrusions and misattunements.
This combination of biological and psychological factors results in an “affective disorder” in the sex addict. Feeling of depression, anxiety, boredom and emptiness are quickly alleviated by immersing oneself in an imaginary world that provides novelty, excitement, mystery and intense pleasure. Sex addiction is better than Prosac. It heals, it sooths, it contains, it provides a “safe place” free from the demands of actual performance, and it gives an illusory sense of belonging. The sense of empowerment in the illicit sex act rectifies “holes in the soul” and lifts the addict from feelings of inadequacy, insufficiency, depression and emptiness into a state of instant euphoria.
Relinguishing this very special (but delusional) mental and physical state can result in a sense of withdrawal which may include mood swings, inability to concentrate and irritability. These symptoms usually disappear in therapy as the sense of self is solidified and he finds more creative ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings.
* What are the effects of sex addiction on the partner?
Effects of sex addiction on the sex addict’s partner can be numerous, encompassing a wide range of emotions and reactive behaviors. The sexual codependent’s experience is similar to, but not thoroughly identical to, a codependent person in a relationship with a substance abuser. A codependent partner of a drug addict or alcohol, for example, may manage to understand and even sympathize with her partner’s alcohol problem due to appnana hack tool the lesser society condemnation.
But a compulsive addiction that involves engaging in sexual activities outside of the home inflicts a psychic injury of ultimate betrayal. How much harder it is for the
partner to be understanding, to extend compassion towards the person who has been sexually unfaithful to her. People don’t talk about sex addiction – the social stigma is considerable. Forgiveness can seem impossible. She feels as if her trust in him has been irreparably corrupted.
Furthermore, there is an element of intense shame for both addict and sexual codependent attached to sexual addiction, especially if his sexual interests involve an object, cross-dressing, dominance and submission or children.
So the partner is often stunned, confused, and in extreme pain upon discovery of the sexual addiction. Anger and resentment can be overwhelming. For many partners, the sex addict’s betrayal can precipitate trauma that resembles
post traumatic stress disorder. It’s important to understand that a particular dynamic is present in the sex addict/
sexual codependent relationship. Both members of the couple store internalized beliefs about themselves that converge in unhealthy ways. For example, the partner often
has a battered sense of self-worth. It’s likely she grew up in a family environment without affection or positive affirmations. Thus, she has “learned” that she’s lacking in some way, and not worthy of respect. In other words, she “deserves” to be mistreated and undervalued.
She can believe that sex is the most important way to express love, so her partner’s sexual acting out can leave her feeling deeply inadequate, unlovable and frightened of abandonment.
At the same time, the sex addict’s upbringing is similar in that he has been “taught” that tells him that he can never really measure up to other people or be good enough. His unconscious belief system that includes the belief that sex is his most important need. Their life together as a couple, even before the sex addiction is exposed, is frequently characterized by chaos and dysfunction.
Within the union, the partner’s low self-esteem can contribute to anxiety
and fear of being abandoned. Often she will set aside her moral values and tolerate engaging in sexual behaviors with her partner that are unacceptable to her. She feels too unworthy to have solid sexual boundaries. Some partners will consent to participate in sex acts that are repugnant to them, mistakenly believing it will make the sex addict stop acting out.
A surprisingly common effect reported by many partners – after the shock of discovery – is the feeling of losing one’s mind. Obsessing about the details of the sex addict’s
betrayal, repeatedly confronting her partner with “evidence” of infidelity and being told she’s “crazy” or “just jealous” results in a loss of focus and an inability to concentrate. Fear and anger aggravates this condition. She isolates herself from friends, family and community due to her shame.
This is fertile ground for depression. In some situations, the partner is brought to a point of absolute despair.
Some maladaptive strategic responses the codependent may engage in as a means of coping include excessive alcohol consumption, food binges, excessive house cleaning, and overtime career activity, acts that can serve as distractions from her distrust, pain and hostility. Distractions, of course, provide only a temporary and false “relief” and often create more problems than they solve.
When the partner’s anger and resentment are suppressed over a period of time, they will eventually explode in a volcano of rage, blame, and furious criticism of the sex addict.
The explosion of frustrated emotions can open a door to enormous guilt and remorse, so the partner may forgive the addict’s offense.
When this happens, the result is an unfortunate snare for the couple, in which the partner unwittingly enables the sex addict to carry on with his unacceptable pattern of sexual acting out.
The converse is true regarding the emotional influences on the partner. The partner may at times turn inward, withdraw, stay silent and distant. This can include withdrawing from any sexual activity with the addict. These stonewalling behaviors can ignite strong feelings of shame and rejection in the sex addict. In a way, the partner succeeds in punishing the sex addict through these behaviors. But the price of this punishment may be a return to his active addiction as a way to deal with conflict in the home.
A tremendously debilitating effect on the partner is to assume all responsibility for the
addict’s sexual acting out, and even for all of the problems in their relationship. The
sex addict may exploit this to his advantage, creating self-doubt within the partner.
For example, the partner may confront her spouse with evidence of a transgression, like a credit card charge to a hotel, but the sex addict is skillful and experienced in deception. He will boldly challenge the partner’s credibility, suggesting she see a “shrink” for being so paranoid and suspicious of him. He can persuasively feign righteous
indignation, causing the partner to distrust her own instincts and perceptions, even in the face of tangible evidence.
Self doubt can plague the partner, aggravating her confusion, making her doubt her own perceptions, and contributing to the feeling of “losing my mind”, which leads her to retreat into denial, the basic and most fundamental defense mechanism for both partner and addict. When in denial, she will believe the addict’s lies, however far-fetched they may be. She will accept whatever lies the sex addict offers to cover up his addiction, to “not rock the boat” and to assuage her abandonment fears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What are the characteristics of a sexual codependent?
Firstly, let’s consider what codependency is. Codependency is an overworked and overused word and definitions can be confusing. At core, it revolves around the fear of losing the approval and presence of others due to early developmental issues with early caretakers. This underlying fear can result in manipulative behaviors that overfocus on maintaining another person’s presence and approval. Control, obsequiousness, anger, caretaking, and being over-responsible are among the behaviors that can be the manifestations of codependent behavior. Because of dysfunctional family-of-origin issues, codependents learn to react rather than respond to others, take responsibility for others, worry about others, and depend on others to make them feel useful or alive.
Codependence also refers to the way events from childhood unconsciously produces attitudes and behaviors that propel people into destructive relationships in the present. The self worth of the codependent comes from external sources. They need other people to give them feelings of self-worth. Codependence is a particular relationship with one’s self in which the person doesn’t trust his or her own experiences. Lacking the inner boundaries necessary to be aware of and express their true wants, feeling, goals and opinions, they are “externally referenced”. They constantly seek affirmation and validation from other people because they are unable to endorse and validate from within. “Internally referenced” people are able to do this. They often focus on an addict’s sobriety as a way to achieve a precarious sense of self consolidation. Sadly, the way they behave often perpetuates the loved one’s addiction.
Codependent people believe they can’t survive without their partners and do anything they can do to stay in the relationships, however painful. The fear of losing their partners and being abandoned overpowers any other feelings. The thought of addressing the partner’s addiction can be terrifying because they don’t want to “rock the boat” and often are frightened of igniting the partner’s anger.
Codependents show common characteristics:
* spending a great deal best fiends hack tool of time focusing on the addict, sometimes to the neglect of themselves and their children;
* tolerating behaviors in the relationship that others would never tolerate;
* sacrificing with the unrecognized/unexpressed expectation that it would create loyalty;
* doing things for others that you should be doing for yourself while mired in self-neglect;
* becoming someone you don’t like – a nag, a parent to your partners, a blamer, a rager;
* setting rules, boundaries and ultimatums but not abiding by them;
* rescuing others compulsively;
* believing tall tales – giving the addict the benefit of the doubt when it’s not warranted;
* becoming disabled by the addict’s crazy-making behavior;
* being overly concerned with the opinions of others – compulsively trying to “keep up appearances”;
* attempting to keep the peace in the relationship at all costs;
* becoming accustomed to living with a high degree of intensity, drama and chaos
* forgiving – over and over and over again
Sexual co-dependents are similar to the above, but differ in significant ways. Involved with a sex addict, she demonstrates a common set of characteristics. These include: denial, preoccupation, enabling, rescuing, taking excessive responsibility, emotional turmoil, efforts to control, compromise of self, anger and problems with her sexuality.
The partners of sex addicts experiences a traumatic loss of self as they make sexual compromises in the relationship that may go against their moral values. Driven by the loss of her sexual identity, many women try to compete with her partner’s fantasized or real encounters by getting plastic surgery, going on crash diets, having affairs to affirm her desirability, or getting breast implantations. These behaviors are based in the mistaken notion that her partner acts out sexually due to some essential deficiency in herself, which is not true.
Other women engage in sexual activities with their partners that they may find distasteful or even morally repugnant – all in an effort to keep him home and happy, and to stave off fears of abandonment. However, for the addict, this type of sex makes his partner into another object. It was just another fix for him, which makes the betrayal even more painful.
In couples where one partner is sexually acting out and cyphening off his erotic energies from the primary relationship, there may be problems with the couple’s own sexual expressiveness and sex can easily dry up, leaving the co-addict feeling even more diminished as a woman and as a person.
Partners of sex addicts have an inordinate need to get the information straight. “Detectiving” is a common activity: checking his computer, looking up names and numbers, desperately looking for scraps of paper with numbers written on them. One woman even invited a prostitute her partner had been with into her home because she wanted to know the details. The need-to-know provides the partner with a way to check up on her own reality (Am I crazy or is this really happening?) and provides her with a sense of much-needed (although illusory) sense of mastery over an out-of-control situation. Especially in light of the addict’s continual denial, the co-addict has a need to provide “evidence” to ensure her soundness of mind — a ploy that rarely works and is exceedingly exhausting.
Finally, sex as an addiction is rarely discussed and there is a huge social stamina associated with it, resulting in the co-addict wanting to hide or to provide a good “front” to deal with feelings of shame and despair. She may become socially isolated because she can’t discuss the situation with friends. Depression easily enters into an emotional environment of isolation and shame.
* What’s involved in therapy for someone who is the partner of a sex addict?
There is hope. The pain you are experiencing is normal. Learning your partner is a sex addict is devastating and can be debilitating. The betrayal triggers a myriad of strong emotions. Feelings of anguish, despair, rage, hopelessness and shame my overtake you. You may feel alone in unchartered territory, wondering “Where do I go from here?”
It’s important to know that your situation is not unique. There are many, many people who share your exact dilemma. Sexual codependents who attend either “S-Anon” or “COSA”, (see the “Resources page”) 12-step programs for partners of sex addicts, often feel extraordinary relief. To break the shame and isolation, it’s important to know others are going through the exact thing you are. Some members have been grabbling with these issues for years and can be a beacon of hope for the newcomer who begins to discover how to cope with the situation and attain some measure of serenity, whether the sex addict is acting out or not.
Psychotherapy is also extremely important. Be sure to find a therapist conversant with these issues. What should happen in your therapy?
Stephanie Carnes, in her book “Mending a Wounded Heart” cites six stages of healing for the sexual codependent.
The Developing/Pre Discovery Stage.
Characteristics of this Stage include:
believing tall tales
tolerating and normalizing unacceptable behavior from the addict
self-doubt such as second guess, not trusting your gut feelings
having a hunch that something isn’t right
unmanageabililty
loss of values, morals, or beliefs deemed important to you in an effort to keep the peace.
The Crisis/Decision Stage
Characteristics of this stage include:
a catalytic event occurs: you discover or are disclosed to about the details of your partner’s sexual behavior
information gathering
taking action/making decisions, such as sending the sex addict to therapy, seeking therapy yourself, or joining a 12-step program such as S-Anon or COSA
The Shock Stage
Characteristics of this Stage include:
emotional numbness or avoidance
feeling victimized
suspiciousness
terror about future relapse
distrust
feelings of despair
anger, hostility, self-righteousness, blame and criticism
Grief and Ambivalence
Characteristics of this stage include:
grieving losses
feelings of depression
ambivalence about the relationship
increased introspection and focus of the self
less focus on the addict’s behavior and more on your own
Repair
Characteristic of this stage include:
introspection
decision-making regarding the relationship
deeper insight into yourself
family-of-origin themes examined and integrated
increased strength, clarity and coping skills
ability to set boundaries
emotional stability
Growth
Characteristics of this stage include:
decreased feelings of being victimized
focus on issues not related to his addiction
communication skills and conflict resolution skills developed
awareness of your role in the dysfunction of the relationship
acknowledgement of gifts the addiction has brought to your life
ability to be fully present and focused on other areas of life
Treatment for sexual codependence can become a process of continued growth, self-realization and self-transformation. Working through feelings of victimization can lead to a new sense of resiliency. Going through this process and dealing with the suffering you’ve endured can be an avenue to discovering meaning and to building stronger self-esteem from having gone through the process and survived. The challenges you’ve faced can elevate you to a higher level of well-being. You may develop a sense of serenity and peace from the appreciation of having worked through this process.
You will be able to do things that you weren’t taught in your family-of-origin: appropriately esteem yourself, set functional boundaries, be aware of and acknowledge your personal reality without fear, take better care of your adult needs and wants while allowing other adults to take care of theirs.
Your internal and external boundaries will be strengthened. Strong external boundaries will ensure that you will not again put yourself into a victim role. A sense of having internal boundaries will open up new avenues of healthy intimacy as you will know who you are and be able to hear who another is. At the heart of healthy intimacy is the ability to share your real self with another and be available when someone else shares his real self with you.
You will no longer have to bend yourself into a pretzel to be someone somebody else wants you to be. Rejection or disapproval may be unpleasant, but not devastating – and you’ll stop marring your personal integrity in order to get external approval and validation. With increased self-knowledge, you’ll be more able to rely exclusively on yourself and your own healthy behaviors as the source of your self esteem.
You may choose to leave the relationship or not, with the knowledge that you can craft a fulfilling life for yourself whether alone or in a partnership. Should you decide to stay, you can reclaim a sense of dignity and renewed sense of purpose even if your spouse is still active.
Finally, time and energy spent on preoccupation and control of the addict can be used to attend to and emotionally support your children, to recommit to and obtain increased satisfaction from your work, to meet new people and to develop new recreational activities.
How can I possibly forgive him?
Despite the fact that it may seem impossible, forgiveness is a critical part of recovery for the partner of a sex addict. To forgive is not to forget. Forgiving means being able to remember the past without experiencing the pain all over again. It is remembering but attaching different feelings about the events, and a willingness to allow the pain to have decreased relevance over time. Understanding the pain, compulsion and despair that your partner has gone through in his addiction can help open you up to compassion.
To forgive is important primarily for yourself, not for the person you forgive. The opposite of forgiveness is resentment. When we resent we experience the pain and anger all over again. Serenity and resentment cannot coexist.
The process of forgiveness begins with acknowledging that a wrong has been done to you. You have to recognize that you have strong feelings about what happened and you need to feel and process those feelings. You are entitled to be angry or hurt. Ideally, you can share those feelings with the person who has hurt you in couples counseling. If that is not possible, then you can share the feelings with your therapist or support group. After that, you can choose whether to stay in a relationship with that person. In either case, forgiveness does not imply permission to continue hurtful behaviors. As part of your own treatment, you need to decide which behaviors you can accept in your relationships and which you cannot.
The primary goal of forgiveness is to heal yourself. In a partnership affected by sexual addiction, forgiveness is aided by evidence of each partner’s changed behavior and commitment to treatment. These are also elements in rebuilding trust. For many couples, forgiving and learning to trust again go hand in hand. Both take time, making amends, continued treatment and trustworthy behavior.
After the acting out has stopped, it’s critical to not use his past behavior as a “hook” to punish or manipulate him. When a desire for revenge exists, you have not forgiven, and you see him in one dimension (“Bastard”). The capacity to see him as a whole person (he’s not just a sex addict, he’s many things) will help you move forward. Couples therapy will help you move toward a sense of tolerance of his vulnerabilities, acceptance of the past and a renewed interest in him as a multidimensional person with on-going issues.
* Despite repeated broken promises to change his sexual behaviors, I’ve been unable to leave him. Why do I stay in a relationship that causes me such emotional anguish?
There may be realistic reasons why women stay in relationships despite repeated betrayals and lost of trust, mutual fifa 15 hack online concern and physical compatibility. Children and finances have traditionally been two of them, although these days even these reasons are not as relevant.
So, why do they stay? For some women, being in love is tantamount to being in pain. The two are indistinguishable. Obsessing about a man’s behavior, allowing it to control her emotions and behavior, realizing that it negatively influences her health and well-being, she finds herself unable to let go. Does she measure the degree of her love by the depth of her torment?
Problems from childhood rear their ugly heads when contemplating why some women masochistically stay in relationships that they find erosive to their sense of security and self-worth. The one characteristic of all dysfunctional families is the inability to talk about feelings and problems. In dysfunctional families, emotions are repressed, major aspects of reality are denied, and roles remain rigid. Children from such families learn not to believe in their own perceptions nor are they able to validate their own feelings. When your family denies your reality, it’s difficult to trust your own perceptions.
What comes to mind is a “Joey Bishop” episode from the 50’s wherein his wife walks in on him in bed with “a blonde” and Joey and his cohort calmly get up and dressed, the woman walks out the door, and Joey denies that there ever was a woman in the room. The (typically 50’s) wife responds by not believing her own perception!
These women become unable to discern when someone or something is not good for them. Situations and people that others would avoid as dangerous, uncomfortable, or unwholesome do not repel them because they have no way of evaluating them in a self-protective manner. They do not trust their feelings and are unable to be guided by their feelings or instincts. Instead, they are drawn to the dangers, intrigues, dramas and chaos that come from living with an addict.
If she comes from emotionally unavailable parents, she was never able to change her parent(s) into the warm, loving caretaker(s) she longed for. Subsequently, she unconsciously is drawn to an unstable, unavailable man with whom she can try to change into a loving, stable man who can give her what she lacked as a child. The ruse rarely works, and these women live in the ever-perpetuating pain and suffering that they lived in as children.
Because her emotional needs were not met in childhood, she is terrified of experiencing the kind of emotional neglect and abandonment she felt back then, and she will do almost anything to prevent a relationship from dissolving. Accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships, she is willing to wait, hope, try harder, give more chances to a partner that has betrayed her many times over. She may try harder to please him sexually, believing that it is her own deficiency that caused his sex addiction in the first place.
In her relationship, she is much more in touch with her dream of how it could be rather than with dealing with the reality of what is. She may be addicted to men and to emotional pain. By becoming enmeshed in a situation that is chaotic, uncertain and emotionally painful, she can avoid focusing on her responsibility to herself, as her family of origin did not provide a role model for guiltless self-care. Alternatively, the highs and drama of life with a sex addict may forestall the experience of deep-seated depression. She may have never been attracted to men who were kind, stable, faithful and reliable. Such men may have been experienced as “boring”.
* I’m incredibly frustrated that he won’t tell the truth. Even when I present “evidence”, he denies his sexual acting out. How can I ever trust a man who so blatantly lies to me?
Sex addiction thrives in secrecy. Addicts will go to any length to protect their double life. Denial, (“Don’t Even Know I’m Lying”) plays a huge part in any addiction process. The reality of the acting out is protected from the conscious mind. If the addict is unaware of the truth, how can he tell you? The very thinking process of the addict becomes impaired as he becomes immersed in the denial process, giving way to the minimization of the extent of his behavior. This connects with “rationalization”: i.e. “I’m not really cheating” – “All guys do this” – “I’m not hurting anyone” – “I work hard so I deserve some pleasure.” This combination of denial, minimization and rationalization makes it extremely difficult for him to know the truth.
More complexing, is the phenomenon of “dissociation”, or “The Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde” syndrome. Dissociation is a clinical process that characterizes multiple personality disorder. While I’m not saying the sex addicts have MPD, I am suggesting that some of the same characteristics of that disorder are shared. One side of the personality protects the other side from the truth. Some level of dissociation is in every man who has a “double life”. Each side of the personality has different values, goals, beliefs and needs that conflict with the other.
This is why, when the sexual acting out is finished, the addict feels so distressed and shameful. Mr. Hyde does the acting out and Dr. Jeckell experiences the remorse.
When the addict is acting out, he has feelings of being disconnected from himself and his environment. Clients speak of “the bubble”, the “erotic haze”, “zoning out”, “feeling apart from myself and watching myself from afar”, of feeling “foggy “or “not feeling like a real person”. Losing track of time is common as is feeling outside oneself as both an observer and a participant. Emotions are numbed; the fantasy creates an alternate reality which obscures the truth of “what is”.
Once in therapy, a primary issue that arises is a feeling of a fragmented sense of self or being unsure of his identity. Therapy will help him get to the bottom of hidden parts of himself that he may not have fully understood or been able to control until treatment starts to work. Only by getting in touch with hidden parts of himself will the full realization of his talents be realized and fulfillment in his personal relationships can begin to unfold.
For more information about treatment and community resources, contact
Dorothy Hayden LCSW
Center for Healthy Sexuality

* I don’t see how our relationship can survive the emotional pain and chaos of his sexual addiction. Have other couples been able to work through these issues? How have they done it?
((((When at least one member of a couple is sexually addicted, restoring trust and building intimacy can be very difficult. These couples must work as hard on their recovery together as a couple as they do on their individual recoveries.
One of the great challenges to recovery from sexual compulsivity is restoring or building an intimate relationship with a committed partner. Many existing relationships are seriously impaired and often don’t survive because of sexual acting out. The partner of the sex addict’s ability to trust is obviously damaged. The psychodynamic and behavioral issues underlying sexual addiction contribute to obstacles to overcoming and building intimate and committed relationships.
The good news is that we have seen from our experience that not only is it possible to repair, rebuild, or newly build a committed relationship, but the level of emotional and physical intimacy that comes from working on these issues together is sustaining, gratifying and growth-producing for each member of the couple.
What is effective in the process of healing and building?
To fix a marriage that has been damaged by sexual addiction, the first step
is to discover what’s been broken. The process of repair is a journey that both
partners must choose to undertake together, as well as separately. Self inventory is
an inescapable feature of the process. Studies of couples who have achieved success
have shown their willingness to ask themselves certain questions:
How committed am I to this relationship?
Do I want to find out what a healthy sexual partnership is?
Am I willing to take the risk of being truly vulnerable to my partner?
Can I face my own interior issues to develop my own personal growth?
A faithful, honest, monogamous sexual relationship with my partner – is
this what I really want? Is this my goal?
A strong commitment to the marriage and a desire to learn and experience a healthy
sexual relationship with the spouse are essential for recovery. For clarity, two definitions
are helpful. The sex addict is the partner who has been engaging in compulsive
extramarital activities. The sexual coaddict is the sex addict’s partner, sometimes
identified as a relationship addict.
Next, the major “breaks” in the damaged marriage need to be identified. The first and
greatest casualty is invariably lost trust. The coaddict has feelings of anger as a
result of being betrayed. The addict feels guilt and shame as a result of hurting and
betraying the spouse. Re-establishing mutual trust must be actively addressed and
worked on in treatment. Forgiveness and opening up to being vulnerable again are
necessary ingredients for rebuilding lost trust.
Another “break” in a sex addiction-damaged marriage is the loss of honest communication.The addict has been hiding his acting out with compulsive sexual behaviors,
so deception has become a part of daily married life. The partner of the sex addict, on the other
hand, has suspicions, yet avoids confronting the addict and hides her fears. Self-blame,
feeling responsible for the addict’s secret sexual behaviors, and even blaming herself for
all of the marriage’s problems are some typical reasons for not discussing their issues.
Thus, both partners keep themselves isolated in their emotions. Problems in their own
sexual relationship – a central “break” to be fixed – are rooted in certain core beliefs
which they hold. The addict’s main core belief is that sex is his most important need. The
partner of the sex addict’s main core belief is that sex is the most important sign of love.
Two more “breaks” in the marriage can be traced back to the communication
breakdown and loss of trust. Neither spouse has effective conflict resolutions skills.
Also, both of them have difficulty setting boundaries on what sexual behaviors they can
accept and where they insist on drawing the line.
* Having identified five of the most important problems – “breaks” – that need to be
repaired, what’s next? Where can couples go for help to recover from behaviors that are mutually hurtful?
Be encouraged because there are a variety of places you can go. First, find a therapist conversant with these issues. Couples report that isolation is their number one enemy. Take the first bold step with your spouse to open up and talk with each other. Acknowledge there are problems and you both want to resolve them. Then look into the self-help available to you. There are 12- step programs for the sex addict and for the sexual codependent.. There are also 12- step programs for couples. All of these groups emulate the Alcoholics Anonymous model, which emphasizes the importance of peer support and identification with others who have gone through what you’ve gone through.
You need to break out of the burden of isolation you’ve placed on
yourself due to feelings of guilt and shame. Bringing it into the open and sharing
with other sympathetic couples is invaluable. In couples counseling you’ll discuss subjects that impact your relationships in major ways. Some of these are the renewal of trust, how to work on your communication skills for problem solving, and how to really listen to each other without disapproval.
Be open to understanding that you both will do well when you accept the need for
patience. Recovery, after all, is a process. Just as the problems you are experiencing
didn’t evolve in ten minutes, keep in mind that healing requires a commitment of time.
Recovering couples stress this, and emphasize that they maintain a positive outlook
because they feel good along the way. They know they are empowering themselves
and learning self esteem.
Couples who have participated in therapy, plus 12 step programs for the addict, the partner of the addict, plus the couples’ 12 step groups, have demonstrated a very good success rate.
There is one essential tool to avail yourself of, and that is seeking
treatment with a professional who specializes in sex addiction treatment. Joint
professional counseling will enhance your personal recovery. Devoting yourselves to
self-discovery together is a choice that will yield excellent results in time.
And remember this – once you choose to take the journey, you will begin to experience
many rewards along the road. One of them is an ever increasing personal freedom in your
spirit. You will discover strengths you never knew you were capable of, and courage you
never knew you had. It is possible for you and your spouse to have a loving, intimate, sexual relationship despite having been through the trauma of active sex addiction.

Hello From Sicily ?Italian Studies, A Pottery Lesson And A Hike Up Mount Etna

On a gorgeous morning following a good sleep after last night抯 cooking lesson I woke up at about 6 am and stepped out on the balcony of my hotel room. The sun was just coming up, and the sky was filled with shades of purple and pink. Far away I could see the outline of a strip of land: the Italian mainland, more precisely the Region of Calabria, was visible on this clear day for the first time. The aerial distance between Taormina and the southern tip of Italy is about 40 kilometres, and this sunrise view across the Ionian Sea was simply gorgeous.

I decided to get up early and take a stroll through beautiful Taormina, before the hustle and bustle of the day would kick in. My hotel, Hotel Villa Nettuno, is located on the north side of town on Via Pirandello, outside of the city抯 gates. I really enjoyed the location best fiends hack ios since it was quieter and yet just steps away from the amazingly busy Corso Humberto, Taormina抯 main street in a pedestrian area.

Having strolled through the northeastern Porta di Messina I reached a still quiet piazza in front of the Palazzo Corvaja, seat of the first Sicilian Parliament and today the location of Taormina抯 tourist office. A few of the locals were already up, taxi drivers were getting ready for their first fares, while the pedestrian street of Corso Humberto was still almost completely devoid of people. I reached Taormina抯 main square: Piazza IX Aprile which features a large panoramic terrace facing the Mediterranean and Mount Etna. Two churches, San Giorgio and San Giuseppe, adorn this square, and the famous Torre dell?Orologio (揷lock tower?, featuring the Porta di Mezzo gate, and the famous W黱derbar Caf?anchor this public space on its western side. I could even see most of the volcano today on this relatively clear day. There are not many views that compare with the beautiful vista that spread out in front of me from this lookout point.

My walk on the Corso Umberto continued to the western edge of town where I passed through the Porta di Catania, the western city gate featuring the coat of arms of the Municipality of Taormina. From there I walked to a small park which features another beautiful lookout point that faces straight towards Mount Etna. After absorbing this gorgeous picture and trying to burn it permanently into my retina I started to make my way back, this time along the Via Roma, the picturesque road on the southern edge of town high above the coastline of the Ionian Sea. No wonder Taormina is such a popular tourist destination, the physical beauty of this town and the surrounding area is stunning.

Well, after this hour long walk I definitely deserved my breakfast and reviewed a bit of Italian grammar on the gorgeous terrace of the Hotel Villa Nettuno before I made my way to the Babilonia Language School. Punctually at 9:30 our lesson started and our grammar teacher Carlo familiarized us with the 損reposizioni semplici??the contracted Italian prepositions that are formed from a combination of the actual preposition together with the article. Prepositions are always complicated topics in any language, and Carlo patiently and succinctly explained to us the usage of 搃n?or 損er?to express time in different contexts. We continued with a variety of games to help us remember the use of Italian prepositions, a fun and effective way to learn and retain complicated linguistic concepts.

Just before noon I had an opportunity to complete another interview: Alessandro, Babilonia抯 director, connected me with Donatella Rapisardi, a local Taormina based artist, who provides some of the Pottery Decorating Classes for Babilonia students. For millennia, Sicily has been at fallout shelter cheats tool the confluence of cultures: the Phonecians, Greeks, Carthaginians, Romans, Byzantines, Arabs, Normans, Swebians, Spanish and French have all left their imprint in this culturally rich area, and pottery has been an important craft in Sicily for many centuries.

I met Donatella at the local Hotel del Corso, right on Corso Umberto, where she offers pottery decorating classes on the rooftop terrace with a perfect view of the Palazzo del Duca Santo Stefano with Mount Etna as a backdrop. The weather was gorgeous, the sky was blue: I cannot imagine a more scenic location for pottery painting than Donatella抯 rooftop retreat.

Donatella Rapisardi is a gifted local artists who works in a variety of media. She also heads an organization called the 揋rupo Artistico de Perseo?which organizes various exhibitions and art projects throughout town and the entire region. The group consists of five permanent artist members and a number of other affiliated artists that are coordinated by Donatella and her team. In addition to ceramics, Donatella also creates mosaics using marble and different types of stone) and handles wood restoration.

She explained that the pottery decorating lesson starts with plain terracotta pieces such as vases or tiles on which students apply the design they wish to paint. Two different types of processes are used for pottery painting, Donatella explained in her machine gun Italian: 搇avorare a freddo?means that the pieces are painted without firing them, and 搇avorare a caldo?refers to painted pottery pieces that are fired in a kiln to preserve the painting.

Traditional Sicilian colours such as blue, yellow and green are often used in the ceramics decorating process, although the students are completely free to create their own design and colour choices. Donatella guides them, makes suggestions and gives the students advice when they need it. She also explained that the tiles offer an advantage since they are easy to handle and transport and they offer a great surface for landscape images.

The course includes three lessons per week, and is particularly popular with Babilonia language students from Japan and the United States. Donatella added that Japanese students in particular are extremely precise and detail-oriented and very gifted when it comes to applying decorative painting to pottery. This may have something today with their exposure to the popular Japanese tradition of calligraphy.

Often Donatella抯 students become her friends and she invites them into her home and does a culinary exchange: Donatella will create a variety of Sicilian specialties while her students prepare various tasty treats from their home country. She indicated that to this day she receives emails from some of her Japanese students from years ago, and she enjoys it every time when she receives international correspondence from her previous students.

After having lived in Umbria, another beautiful region of Italy, Donatella moved back to Taormina several years ago which she really enjoys and which inspires her creativity. She also teaches children抯 art courses and volunteers for some local schools. She showed me a couple of pieces that had been completed by students and three of her own works of art. I mentioned I would have loved world of tanks blitz cheats to see her studio to see more of her own art. Maybe next time.

Following this interesting side trip another excursion was waiting for me: punctually at 2:30 pm eleven people were assembled in front of the Babilonia Language School, ready to go hiking on Mount Etna whose summit is located at an altitude of over 3200 m. Peppe Celano, Babilonia抯 social activities coordinator and one of the language teachers, was ready to introduce us first-hand to Sicily抯 highest mountain and an active volcano.

As a matter of fact, Mount Etna had just erupted a few days ago on April 30, but unfortunately I did not see it. The eruption was only a few hours long, and one of my co-students saw the red lava stream at night! So today we would see Europe抯 largest volcano up close.

Peppe had rented a small van and a small passenger car to carry all the participants. Our drive to the parking lot on the southern flanks of Mount Etna took about an hour and twenty minutes. We drove through local towns such as Giarre and Zafferana Etna where Peppe explained that near this area the Arabs used to cultivate saffron, hence the name.

The day was overcast and rather cool, a windproof jacket and a nice sweater were definitely in order. We parked our vehicles on a rather isolated parking lot and got ready for our climb. The lower part of our climb took us through a forested area where the leafs were just starting to come out. Not surprisingly, at almost 2000 m of altitude, the plant growing cycle is a little slower, even on a subtropical island such as Sicily.

Peppe explained that the local fauna includes chestnut, oak and birch trees which have all existed here since before the last ice age. We walked single file along a steep narrow path that was punctuated with many roots and stones, right along a precipice with many lookouts towards the famous 揤alle del Bove?(Valley of the Ox), site of layers upon layers of lava flows.

Our steep hike continued for about an hour and took us from 2000 m in altitude to 2400 m to an area with a perfect view, facing the recent lava flows in the Valle del Bove. The summit area of the volcano stretched out right in front of us. Our area was a side summit designated by a cross and a broad natural ledge that our group used as a perfect posing area for our group shots of our conquest of Mount Etna. We spent about half an hour at the top of this side summit, chatting, snapping pictures and generally enjoying our mountain adventure.

On the way down three ladies, one from Switzerland, one from Germany and one from Austria (me) raced down the mountain in about 20 minutes. Coming down was a heck of a lot easier than going up, and almost sprinting down this steep mountainous pathway was rather exhilarating in itself. Once all the other mountaineers arrived we set off to visit a local winery. The 揗urgo?vineyards were just about 15 minutes away, located in the fertile foothills of Mount Etna and many people in our group bought red, white and sparkling wines. An animated discussion followed in the van and by 7 pm we had arrived back in the school.

After a brief refreshment back at the hotel, a group of us met at a local pizzeria called 揟rocadero? right next to the Porta di Messina, where we were going to have a nice dinner. For some of us this Thursday evening was our last night in Taormina; I was going to leave tomorrow night to go to Milazzo while another person was going on an excursion to the Eolian Islands. Most of our group members were leaving Taormina this weekend, and we were all commenting how much we have been enjoying our experience.

Everyone around the table was a German speaker: we had three folks from Germany, two from Switzerland and myself, originally from Austria. Given the linguistic differences throughout the German-speaking countries, we all mentioned that each one of us has to speak 揌ochdeutsch?(Standard German) in order to be understood by the rest of the group. All of us speak fairly strong dialects that would essentially be incomprehensible to German-speakers from other regions, so we get by, speaking the standard version of our language. For me this exposure to other Europeans was really enjoyable. Having lived more than 20 years in Canada, I hardly ever come in contact with German speakers, so this experience of enjoying a nice meal, speaking in my mother tongue, was a definite treat.

By 9:30 pm I started to get really tired since I had already gone on a one-hour walk through Taormina before breakfast, followed by another walk through town to meet Donatella, the pottery decoration artist, capped off by a short yet strenuous hike up Mount Etna. And tomorrow was after all going to be my last day in Taormina, so it was time to rest.

One thing is for sure, when you come to Taormina for language studies you definitely don抰 get bored.